Dark Poetry #2 |
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Discombobulated (Revisited & revised) |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA ![]() |
Swirling tumble, twirling jumble, tossed and turned, and inverted spins. Misty movements, of disconcerted eyes. Roiling thoughts, bubble through constantly, adding deeper frets, into this furrowed brow. Confusion is but fancy, as the mind attempts, its denial fate's aria. Eternal fall of man, into depths of unknown. Dangerous slips haunt as struggles for solidity, continue incessantly. Wishful hopes, candycane dreams, replaced by the cacophony, of ignorant screams. God it's great, to be human. ------------------ Dum spiro, spero JP Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
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© Copyright 2000 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
This is great JP. it's good to see you around again. The tumbling effect left me dizzy, The depths unknown, god how I know that, into the abyss, Dangerous slips of the heart, as I read it, I guess it could mean anything although. Anyway, this is great again. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
we'll i'm kind of new and never saw any of your work before. but this is a great poem and if your other work is like this i long to read more of you. I'm the lord, I'm the havoc, I'm the soul |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
Great poem! Your imagery is wonderful! Was this meant as a satire? We are the hollow men We are the stuffed men Leaning together Headpiece filled with straw. Alas! Our dried voices, when We whisper together Are quiet and meaningless As wind in dry grass Or rats' feet over broken glass In our dry cellar Shape without form, shade without color, Paralyzed force, gesture without motion; --T.S. Eliot |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
WOw your poem is like a rollercoaster..Ow my stomach is not feeling the best...excuse me...back again...lol no seriously the rhythm and flow of the words is amazing. . Wishful hopes, candycane dreams, replaced by the cacophony, of ignorant screams. God it's great, to be human. loved the last two lines, great poem. ------------------------ "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. "Art is a lie which makes us realise the truth." Pablo Picasso "We Irish are too poetical to be poets, we are a nation of brilliant failures" Oscar Wilde ----- |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Excellent writing here, indeed a rollercoaster for the reader, great imagery too!! I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
thanks all... Hey JJ, use that fancy search engine the Ron has put in and look for stuff by me - I'm in all the forums... (I've never been one to shy away from personal attention! ![]() Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
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