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Dark Poetry #2
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You Left Me
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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You Left Me |
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sgreybe Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 209London, UK |
YOU LEFT ME: How is it that things so precious last such a short time? Is the good in life meant to be fleeting? Such is life. Yet is it not a sort of ludicrous reversal? It should be the bad that is momentary, and the good that lasts a lifetime. Though we may decide, as we did, to never let it end, circumstances made it end. I know you'd say but our friendship hasn't ended, nothing's changed. But it has. I saw the way you looked at me when last we met. Or didn't look at me. Are you ashamed of me? Now, after all we've been through? I guess I should've expected it. But then, I didn't. It's not like you. You usually answered to that that I don't know you. But I think I do. I even feel as if I knew you before we met, and that isn't so far-fetched. I remember you said a similar thing. I feel as if I've known you my whole life, and now something has just died. My heart is empty (for broken was unacceptable), with it my life. Without you I feel torn apart, empty, useless, ungrounded, stumbling, lost and so terribly alone. Why did it have to be this way? Why did I lose you? Not only to another, but completely. There is no connection, no love, understanding, secret or sparkle between us anymore. You have broken your promise. You left me. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sylvia Greybe - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
*ouch* 'nuff said |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Aww... wow.... so heartfelt... so sad. Yeah, I agree, ouch! Hurts! Expressed well. |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
PS: I hope everything's ok. |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Sylvia...this really touched me. I just broke off with a lady...and she said nearly the same thing. She replaced her hurt with anger....and unleashed it on me. The only difference is she didn't lose to anyone but myself. Loved the poem..feel the sting. Hardrock |
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Wren Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312 |
I hate to repeat....but I ,too, must also say "ouch" to that heartwrenching poem. |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
So sorry you are hurting this much. It's a beatiful poem, with many good observations. But I feel your pain, and I know its bad. I really know. Sandra |
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Martini Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 308Toronto, Ontario, Canada |
As I read your poem I felt like you were describing how I feel everyday. I recently broke up with my long-time boyfriend and it was fairly sudden. We had promised that we would never let anything come between us, but he didn't keep his end of the promise and instead of talking to me about what was going on he ran form me. The last time I saw him, it was from a bit of a distance and he didn't even come over to say hello.... I felt like he ripped my heart out all over again. I know your pain, all I can say is it has to get better!!  Fantastic writing, great expression!! "In three words I can sum up everything I learned about life: It Goes On" ~Robert Frost |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Good piece. I would have preferred a more "poetic" format...stanza's verse paragraphs,for example: "Though we may decide, as we did, to never let it end, circumstances made it end. I know you'd say but our friendship hasn't ended, nothing's changed. But it has. I saw the way you looked at me when last we met. Or didn't look at me. Are you ashamed of me? Now, after all we've been through? I guess I should've expected it. But then, I didn't. It's not like you...." \div but well written and expressed nevertheless. jwesley [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 07-11-2000).] |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
If we could only find something to take the place of the pain, and to me anger can be sadness turned inside out. Im sorry for your pain, It hurts I know, and although time can heal we don't forget, I sympathize. Nice writing, I enjoyed, very much. Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson...You find the present tense..and the past perfect "Anonymous" |
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