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Dark Poetry #2
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Over the Fence
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Over the Fence |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone 
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Your little patch of grass is so rich and green to me. And all my brilliant colors are there for only you to see. Let us climb the fence now, yes, I hear you call. I wonder, will it turn to brown if ever this fence falls? Coming two steps closer, then the barrier returns. Isolated and alone again, I can only drift and yearn. I see someone peek over the top and I know it's you. I couldn't help but notice because I'm up there too. It's been dry for so very long, we need some nurturing and some rain, a gardener who cares enough to take away the pain. I will make your grass grow tall you'll fill mine with flowers. Together the world turns beautiful. It's all within our power. We have the right to colors and a healthy, growing life. But the fence stands tall between us, my husband and your wife.... [This message has been edited by catalinamoon (edited 07-11-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sandra - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Whoaa! This one SPEAKS. Can't find words to describe this one...except Whoaa!! Hardrock |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
Oooooh, this is strong, and descriptive very well done Cat, wish I could tear down the fence for you, hang in there |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Intriging metaphor! I like it.  |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
"Together the world turns beautiful" Very nice! Love the whole poem! Voted |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Oh my,...what an impact this poem leaves. Wow Cat. Metaphor,...perfect. Ending,...smack. Well written here. Bravo. *Peace. |
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AniKay83 Member
since 2000-06-28
Posts 388Missing Since 1999 |
*jaw drops* Didn't see that coming... *votes* my friend is going through the same problem. Good luck. |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Darn! *pout* Sharon beat me to the metaphor part... but she didn't comment on the fact that this is a shining example of an extended metaphor! Brilliant and darkly sad. Me likes! |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
The ending is a real surprise: what a downer! And what an excellent poem. I love the garden imagery! Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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LarBear Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 138Kingston, New York |
Another Stand up Ovation. Your poetry rules! The way you can take words and put them together in such a way to catch a glimpse of your inside emotions is excellent. Keep up the good work Darlin` TCB LarBear |
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LarBear Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 138Kingston, New York |
I forgot to mention on line 7 you have a small mis-type error "I wonder, wiill it turn to brown" The word will has one i not two. Great work. TCB LarBear |
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Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
this is a great poem i really enjoyed it alot and i like the sudden bump on the head at the end i hope your heart gets what your heart wants. and i've got the axe and will be over soon to knock down that fence. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
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Rex Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 482Houston, Texas |
Catalinamoon...Great imagery, well done. Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings: it takes its origin from emotion recollected in tranquility. -William Wordsworth- |
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sgreybe Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 209London, UK |
Dear Cat Wow! What superb metaphorical imagery! Loved the twist. Great work as is all yours. Keep it up. Sylvia |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Well done Cat. Loved the flow throughout and (naturally) I loved the surprise ending. jwesley [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 07-11-2000).] |
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