»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #2
»
The Coming - Part III
| Dark Poetry #2 |
|
The Coming - Part III |
|
|
allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road 
|
There came the day of the silent skies When the Linguists spoke to us all We were gamblers on the last throw of dice As they told us two thirds must fall An ultimatum had come down on silver disc Two thirds were now to be given To reject meant erasure if we took the risk Acceptance brought New Eden We had no choice our hands were tied 2 Billion to live 4 Billion to die Stunned as we were the Linguists droned on Of why the Spectres had come We listened though our senses gone To the meaning of that hum They cropped the Kwal and processed it Within their silver ships The residual energy, dust, bone and bit To liquid for their spectral lips The ancients had most and this had been taken Now it was time for the living Not one ounce was to be forsaken No escape from this final giving A list was shown of who was to die By profession we were denominated They knew our every facet, no chance to lie We were to be exterminated All the best were listed as first arrests Artists, writers and poets topped the list Then philosophers, monks and scientists No intelligent soul was to be missed The Harvester of Eyes had come [This message has been edited by allan (edited 07-04-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Allan Tierney - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Holacaust revisited....chillingly excellent Allan........Hardrock |
||
|
allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road |
Thanks Hardrock - though it is frustrating and hard work trying to make the meaning fit within these damn rhyming couplets! I'm not 100% happy with it but I've sweated over this §*2=&/%! part long enough!! Ällän    |
||
|
Jeremiah Johnson Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 1223Brooksville, Fl, U.S |
i enjoyed this very much and do keep it up. this is a very good piece. its also written very well and do keep it up. I'm a dying romantic and when i can no longer write i can no longer live -Jeremiah Johnson- |
||
|
lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
At last! I've been desperate to read this for days. It's brilliant and I can't imagine why you aren't happy with it. Terrifying thoughts here, and sadly not even that unrealistic (as Hardrock already said). Superlatives, more superlatives, and an extra one for good measure! Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
||
|
moshpit Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 143cebu, philippines |
if all poets were to be killed, God help us all.. nice work, allan. |
||
|
Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
Allan I found this to be very moving, excellent work here! Be very proud of your work, well done!!! |
||
|
demoninlove Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 211Dehradun |
That was wonderful Allan! Simply wonderful! And stick to those "damned couplets". They are what make the poem so wonderful. Deepak Menon |
||
|
allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road |
Thanks all! You just made all that blood, sweat and tears eminently worth while! Ällän |
||
|
Yu Lan Senior Member
since 2000-04-13
Posts 1462New Zealand |
.... Geez, Allan.. this is an awesome poem, and I don't care how hard it was to write, you gave the perfect picture, of horrid scenery.. if artists, writers and poets were 'deleted' what a world this would be.. grr.. how dull.. ^_^ well done.. Lynne "He who knows others is wise; he who knows himself is enlightened." Lao-tsu |
||
|
Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
Wow, Allan, I should respond to all of these just to put them all on the top again. For anyone who has missed these, if you like end of the world stuff, READ. This is utterly chilling. It reminds me of World War II rewritten with Childhood's End and the first few chapters of Left Behind. |
||
|
Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
Wow, Allan, I should respond to all of these just to put them all on the top again. For anyone who has missed these, if you like end of the world stuff, READ. This is utterly chilling. It reminds me of World War II rewritten with Childhood's End and the first few chapters of Left Behind. Brrr. Ok I stepped in to edit this. This was not user dysfunction, my connection flaked out sorry for the double post. [This message has been edited by Portia (edited 07-07-2000).] |
||
|
taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Hmm... just saw this - I missed it! Allan, I agree... very moving indeed! Excellent! Thank you for sharing it. |
||
|
allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road |
Thanks a whole lot everybody! I should get doom and gloomy more often! |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
