»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #2
»
Blue Candels
| Dark Poetry #2 |
|
Blue Candels |
|
|
Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
So I haven't been writting as much as usual so I am trying something new, there is no thought behind this poem no plaaning, no time4, I sat at my computer and wrote it, please tell me what you think, I'm stuck and trying to find a way out and i could used some suggestions Blue Candels I lit a candel yesterday, In it I saw your eyes, The fire of your heart, Melting into disolving memories, Time came undone with each flicker, Blue wax dripped over my fingers, I stared at the falme for hours, One burned out --- I lit another, You always had blue candels, In your room they glowed, In the upstairs room they blew out, Zipped in a black backpack they broke, My candels all went out, The wind blew through my window, On it I heard the words I remember, "I'll never leave" My blue candels blew out, My desk is covered in wax puddles, The carpet is stained with their color, The ceilling has gray smoke smudges, Every night I can't help but light another, Every night I hear the words, I can't stop and the wax still drips, Until you come back with blue candels in silver moonlight < !signature--> "I'll build a wall if we can keep them on the other side"---NIN "There is no always forever, just this"-the cure [This message has been edited by Ginners (edited 12-24-2000).] |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Gin Leigh - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
MysticWonders Member
since 2000-12-11
Posts 60Massapequa NY |
Wow! what a feeling this one gave me ...nicely done*S* Danyel |
||
|
dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Ginners, This is a fabulous piece! I write most of mine in the fashion you chose here, just sit and let the words come out. You succeeded at channeling your poet and crafting a fine piece. Enjoyed Much!!  With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
||
|
Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA |
Ginners...I can only echo what has been said already. Very well done....loved the imagery here. I will never look at blue candles again without thoughts of you and this poem. Hardrock |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Ginners, this is a really good write. I don't know what sort of advice you are wanting, but this poem is fine. Kethry Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon. |
||
|
Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
Thank you all for the kind words. i am never sure of my poems and it feels good to have others say nice things about them. |
||
|
liqwidnik Junior Member
since 2000-11-04
Posts 33Mantua, NJ, USA |
Lovely poem it was great. i got chills with the imagery portrayed in this one |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
