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Dark Poetry #2
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Bed of Ice
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Bed of Ice |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Lay me down, Within and on ice, Encase me without a sound, Freeze me. Take the heat of living from me, Let not fire of feeling free, Capture me within the chilling And fast forming ice of the lost Will protect me from feeling; Place me in the firm permafrost . Hide me from glowing bands of light, On the darkest of winters night. Leave me without a box of wood, Just the soil and the drifting snow, Take with you what you think you should, What ever trinket when you go; Let no winds hear of my passing, Bury me ice ever lasting. Lay me down, Within and on ice, Encase me without a sound, Freeze me. Gloom 2000 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ginners Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 339Mullica Hill, New Jersey |
This is very good, an di find it very sad as well "I'll build a wall if we can keep them on the other side"---NIN "There is no always forever, just this"-the cure |
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Verve Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 348Singapore |
Such cold despair and desolation u describe here ... Very very well written.  ~regina. |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Take the heat of living from me, Capture me On the darkest of wynters night Take with you what you think you should, Lay me down, protect me Encase me without a sound, "as you wish" just some of your thoughts projected on mine ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
A good read, solemn, sad. I like the identical verses at top and bottom of the piece. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
this is fantastic....loved this...images i got of ice/winter/snow/cold and solitude,isolation,sadness ...very good. ~Dawn< !signature--> "Like a soul without a mind, in a body without a heart, Im missing every part." Unfinished Sympathy-Massive Attack [This message has been edited by poutprincess (edited 12-21-2000).] |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Professor Gloom, powerful feelings here, and the images very well accomplished, great work thank you for sharing. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Ginners, Glad you liked it, sad though it may be. Thank you, Verve, I am pleased my tossing of words upon This electronic paper, pleases you. Thank you, nakdthoughts, I am honored by your poetic response. Thank you, Dragonpoe, I just used the small verses to disguise that Sonnet in the middle, glad you think it worked. Thank you, poutprincess, I thought it appropriate for the first day of winter. Glad you liked it. Thank you, Cerenity, I am pleased to share, with those whom enjoy. Your words are kind praise. Gloom |
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Zyell Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 121USA |
Tears, not exactly, the shadows is what I see when I read your words....cold, without warmth waiting..... very good, Gloom *S* Z Life is an adventure to be experienced |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
You've expressed this desolation so well.. and the structure of the verses are fascinating. Sometimes when they are placed the way these are, they are distracting, but they suit the overall feeling of detachment in this piece. Great write! Sheila |
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Professor Gloom Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082of Depression |
Thank you, Zyell Glad you liked this, Tears, shadows and cold without warmth waiting All elements of gloom. Thank you, firecrakker I attempt to weave words for harmonious display, It this case, like a set of bookends holding the sonnet, Or a shallow grave chipped out of frozen soil. Gloom |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Uniquely expressed with haunting and very effective imagery. I can relate to your words, very powerful! Take care, Melissa The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams |
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Skoota Junior Member
since 2000-12-23
Posts 28Australia |
Forgive my lack of poetic language here. I'm only good with in when actually writing poetry. I can feel the cold of being frozen. Trying to stay warm at the moment. Salut! The Shadow Hunter C'est plus qu'un crime, c'est une faute |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was great. I love how you write. Keep posting....  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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