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Dark Poetry #2
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The Shopping Guy
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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The Shopping Guy |
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Hardrock Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 948New Hampshire, USA 
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If you saw me in the supermart, You’d laugh at how I shop. I don’t go but once a month, So I’m filled from bottom to top. I have to shop along each aisle, Though I always have a list. But there’s a chance that I might find, Something that I’ve missed. I have my little coupon book, ‘Cause my funds are near deficient, You can laugh at my shopping attire, But don’t hate me because I’m efficient. I dress out in comfy clothes, Good sneakers on my feet. If they call out a one-minute sale, Then I’m the one to beat. I know the price of Campbell’s soup, Which bread is fresh or stale. Those are special attributes, You can’t find in every male. I sniff the produce, and squeeze the fruits, And know which ones to buy. I’m every woman’s wish come true, I’m the shopping guy. I know to bag the cold stuff first, And head home without delay. And not to smush the bread or eggs, Or there’ll be hell to pay. I know how to read the dates, To make sure the milk is new. And not to buy anything, That’s turned a fuzzy blue. I know the ice cream waits til last, And you double bag it apart. So you don’t go along the aisles, While it’s dripping from your cart. I’m the shopping man, I’m the best, I never miss a deal. Now, if I could only find the shopping cart, Without the bumpy wheel. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marv Hardin - All Rights Reserved | |||
Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
I am sensing that their will be a million post to your poetry. You always have a way with words my friend.  Ronil (The sweet sound of summer sends serenity through my soul searching for that evermore solitude.) |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Ha Ha, want to come do my shopping for me? I am most definitely NOT the shopping girl.. Very amusing poem,you would make someone a great husband.. S |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
LOL Great write! |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Haha this was great. I really loved this poem!  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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Dark_kisses_Within Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680Kansas |
Very good, Marv! You sure know how to create a smile on my face. Always reading you, Mags No person is worth your tears, and the only one that is ...... will never make you cry |
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Suzanne Arlene Member
since 2000-10-09
Posts 377Ontario, Canada |
Well now if i went shoppin once a month i would have a caravan of carts behind me. Good to know some men can handle themselves in the grocery store.Not succumb to temptaions beyond there control as hmmmmm candy isle avoid vegetables all together and of course those ever popular cereals coated in sugar. You have opened my eyes to the advancement of MAN kind lol great poem loved the read Suzanne |
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firecrakker Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235Virginia |
Oh my gosh!!!! This was great.. Thank you for the smile, today! Sheila PS Haven't I seen you on Supermarket Sweep? |
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Swamp¤Faeryie Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 393fairyland....of course;) |
oh god,the bumpy wheel.....  i thought i was the only one,great peice of poetry,love the way you make it all go together and flow so well.sam "Though thy crest be shorn and shaven,thou "i said" art sure no craven." Ghastly grim and ancient raven,wandering from the nightly shore,tell me what |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Hardrock, You did it, you really, really did Make me chuckle, made me laugh, made me doff me lid and that's not so easy, in this day and age you made it easy peasy, a substitute for my rage I glad you got the trolley with the wobbly wheel Did you know we could be shopping twins, I have a similar spiel Well anyway, next time you're shopping think of me afar, and in deep rembrance buy pickles in a jar.  Keth. Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon. |
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Dream Chaser Junior Member
since 2000-11-21
Posts 32South Carolina |
Loved the poem! You made me smile! But somehow I can't picture you doing the shopping...but if you do, how about if I trade hubby for you! LOL Angel |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I liked the heck out of this...hate those wheels though...I yell at the manager...James |
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