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Dark Poetry #2
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Walk With Me
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Walk With Me |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA 
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Walk With Me she is my dream; she is my nightmare she stands between human and supernature with fire in her touch and death in her smile I walk beside her red kisses from her murderous lips blister my sensitive flesh she is my dream; she is my nightmare take a walk with me she is my dream; she is my nightmare my heart burns in sacrifice to her my mind driven to near-breaking I walk beside her her words the insoluble knot in which knowledge lies hidden she is my dream; she is my nightmare take a walk with me she is my dream; she is my nightmare her feelings so fantastically complex and pure my screams of longing emanate from her echo I walk beside her is my love only a small aspiration? because I’ve held my secrets far too long she is my dream; she is my nightmare take a walk with me she is my dream; she is my nightmare my thoughts rise up and speak with lightning the truth of her imprints itself on my memory I walk beside her my fantasies bring me failure and humiliation hoping to recover some measure of dignity she is my dream; she is my nightmare take a walk with me she is my dream; she is my nightmare I am free, forgotten, alone in the night the earth has fallen away from my feet I still try to walk beside her I damn the crowd who watch my sufferance I cast off my old costume and come bare she will always be my dream and my nightmare she walks away from me Why does she always walk away? |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jeff Osborne - All Rights Reserved | |||
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Hi rascalx!  I love this poem of yours!!"I am free, forgotten, alone in the night the earth has fallen away from my feet" The imagery you create here is superb... and every sentence encapsulates the loss and pain. Look forward to reading some more of your work. Take care... ~ Tara ~ "A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
Very well done. I like the ending, you increase the levels of pain and suffering, and leave off with it all hanging, weighing down the reader, allowing them to feel the subject's turmoil. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
the fist line completely drew me in, and the rest made me happy i kept reading. i really liked the part about the heart burning in sacrifice to her. this was really great. jann elizabeth |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
It doesnt take much for a dream to become a nightmare...I hurt with you you know that... Ignore those who would clip your wings...fly ever upward...even if it means scorched wings |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
taramw, Thank you; I look forward to reading more of your work as well. I wish I could say that the hurt and loss in my words is fictional, but unfortunately I am drawing on personal painful experience. I'm glad that I was able to get that across so well in my poem though. dragonpoe, Although I wouldn't wish suffering on anyone, I have to say that one of the highest compliments I can receive for this poem is that the reader "feel" my pain. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the critique too. Jannel, Thank you. I've always longed to sacrifice my heart for someone but not on their altar. Paula, so very true...much like the thin line between love and hate |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
rascalx, It's so sad when a dream gets out of control and becomes a nightmare. You did a good job expressing the pain of how that can happen, as you took us on a walk with you. Write on Kethry Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant - Thoreau |
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rascalx Senior Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 590Florence, SC, USA |
Kethry, Thank you for "walking with me"; the "nightmare" is easier to wake up from when I have people nearby to offer a quick pat on the back and a little understanding. Jeff |
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