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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2000-11-25 10:30 PM



The Full length Reflection of Himself


It had been the ice cream,
we can’t have cake without ice cream
vanilla ice cream
    
You go he said
it was his birthday
after all
he would sit on the porch
and wait into the afternoon

Another reason lurked
he was drinking
and what he wanted
was to sit on the porch
with another beer
not ice cream
and drink into the afternoon

His son of blond thatched hair
had exchanged a blue eyed look
with his wife
a look of disappointment
resignation and something else
disgust, he thought

They never came back
a drunk driver’s final irony

After the blissful numbness
a wave so powerful
so full of grinding pain hit him
that he wished that he was dead
it fell on him
ripped through
his fabric of pretension
found his soul
and squeezed it hard

He screamed
tore a chunk of hair
from his head
then took a hammer
searching for his tormentor
and found him in the bedroom
in front of the bathroom door

where he took the hammer
to the full length reflection of himself
until only small shards of glass remained
scattered on the teal carpet



© Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
firecrakker
Member
since 2000-10-20
Posts 235
Virginia
1 posted 2000-11-25 10:47 PM


Martie,

You've painted such a vivid picture of this reality. Very touching and enlightening...and perhaps, should be read by those who suffer from this addiction.

Sheila

Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

2 posted 2000-11-26 06:40 AM


GOB SMACKED.

He screamed
tore a chunk of hair
from his head
then took a hammer
searching for his tormentor
and found him in the bedroom
in front of the bathroom door

Thanks for gracing us with your presence here hon.

K

Wow.



Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

3 posted 2000-11-27 06:11 PM


His son of blond thatched hair
had exchanged a blue eyed look
with his wife a look of disappointment
resignation and something else
disgust


Wow
I recognise these feelings Martie
you have penned them well, as always.

Maree  




"If my words could blanket the skies
and fill every corner and crevice of
this earth, still this won't be enough"
"Maree Russo"

Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
4 posted 2000-11-28 03:46 AM


Martie,
well written and heartbreaking.
write on
Kethry


Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant - Thoreau


Poertree
Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359
UK
5 posted 2000-11-28 10:57 AM


thought you'd hide the poetic version of this in here did ya martie ... now you have me curious as to where the inspiration for both the story and the poem came from... humm

nice writing my friend

philip

Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
6 posted 2000-11-28 12:28 PM


this was really great. the beginnign was intriguing and the end was unvbelievable. great work.

jann elizabeth

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

7 posted 2000-11-28 01:02 PM


Powerful poem, Martie. Perhaps the people of M.A.D.D. would be interested in this? I stand in awe, again, my poet friend.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2000-11-28 04:39 PM


Descriptive and emotional writing..James
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
9 posted 2000-11-28 06:45 PM


Sheila--Thank you so much for the reply...I'm not sure those with the addiction would want to read it though.

Kamla--What is GOB Smacked??  The wow I understood.

Maree--Sorry to hear that you recognize these feelings...hugs!

Kethry--Thank you for the reply...sometimes life IS heart break.

Philip--You know what they say about curiosity and the cat??? Hmmm...some day I'll tell you.

Jann--I'm glad you liked this poem...if you want to read the longer version it is called Sweet William, in Passion in Prose.

serenity--thank you, my poet friend...what a good idea you had.

James--thanks so much for stopping by.

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