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Dark Poetry #2
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If I Had Only...
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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If I Had Only... |
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Lily B Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 91Auburn, IN, US 
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"If I Had Only...." She took her life on a Sunday. ......What was I doing that day? The shades were drawn closed in her bedroom, Though the sun shone brightly behind. She was shutting out the world for the last time. ......Had I called her on the phone that week? Her letters were written, her dishes were washed. The fish had been fed and bid goodbye. She took one last look and lay down in her bed. ......Surely she knew how I loved her...? Seven amber bottles stood at attention on her nightstand. A glass of cool water was beginning to drip sweat, As if anxious and impatient to serve. ......Why hadn't I seen the true nature of her despair? As she swallowed her pills, several at a time, She felt the sting of tears on her cheek and paused. She really hadn't expected to cry. ......Oh! How she must have been tortured and broken. A burp escaped her lips but she didn't think to giggle. As she pulled her blankets to her chest, she sighed. The thought of her own strength and resolve made her smile. ......Dear God, she must have felt so alone in her pain. She pulled her paperback book out from under the pillow But, within seconds, lost interest and set it aside. She had decided to close her eyes and enjoy the ride. ......Still, how could she leave me like this --- now broken myself? As she felt her heart's ache subside and her senses dim, She allowed her thoughts to travel 300 miles to her family. She wondered if they would cry at her funeral. ......Would she have stayed had I asked her to? Didn't I? The End for her was like the Beginning and the Middle. Private. Efficient. On her terms. By force of will. It was her final moment of triumph. ......Has she finally found the peace she longed for? It was a Sunday. For my Sister, In Loving Memory... Jill Sue Ramsey December 11, 1967 ... May 25, 1997 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Julie A. Remke - All Rights Reserved | |||
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darkstar Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230Port Richey, Fl, USA |
Omg! I absolutely loved it. I am sorry about your sister. I know I have contemplated suicide many, many times...when you do, you don't really think about what happens to your loved ones. Very well written. darkstar |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very sad and effective words you have written for your sister...in memory...James |
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Lily B Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 91Auburn, IN, US |
Thank you both, darkstar and James, for your kind words... and condolences. I'm appreciative.  Warm Regards, ~"Lily"~ |
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Dark_kisses_Within Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680Kansas |
OMG! This was so good! As I sat here and read it, it brought back so much. I too have done this. Almost the way you described it. Yet I awake, and changed many things in my life that made me once think I had nothing to live for. Thanx DkW No person is worth your tears, and the only one that is ...... will never make you cry |
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Lily B Member
since 2000-03-31
Posts 91Auburn, IN, US |
{{{{DkW and darkstar}}}} It warms my heart to hear that you both have discovered the joys in living. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me!! Warm Cyber-Hugs, ~"Lily" / Julie~ |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
I find this is a well writen and potent piece. The love, the pain, the questions! I can only offer my condolences on your loss. Take care! "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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marcos New Member
since 2000-11-22
Posts 8 |
wow, i thought this was amazing...i'm sorry to hear it was your sister...as difficult as it must be for you to handle it, your poem really delivers the weight of a tragedy, i really enjoyed it/admired it..keep writing |
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Broken_Winged_Angel Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 994Small Town, Somewhere |
Lily B I'm crying..This last year two of my friends committed suicide...One of them was like my brother...(((March Showers in the corner pubs the first in a long list written to him))) Every line in this poem hit me really hard...It sounds kind of odd, but thankyou for making me cry...I hadn't quite yet since Josh killed himself...This is a wonderfully written work of art..>Thankyou for sharing it with us.. My condolences go out to you and your family...I'mvvery sorry for your loss.  [This message has been edited by Broken_Winged_Angel (edited 11-22-2000).] |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
very well written Lily and when you can touch other's with your words, you are truly a poet. Thank you for sharing this part of "living" with us...huggzzz ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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