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Dark Poetry #2
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Suicide Note of the World
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Suicide Note of the World |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
We are the fallen ones. We are the dead ones. We've forgotten our true purpose in life, and instead Gotten lost in the green haze of the Ephemeral god. A few years ago, my brother asked me, "Do you remember the steeple at the church we used to go to, Or the sunday school we used to play around in?" "No," I said coldly. But we both knew I was lying. He never asked me that question again. We both knew that it would make all too painfully obvious, The mistake we'd made. And so we trample upon egg shells, indifferently. The egg shells are the good intentions that pave the Road we are on. They are the happy memories of ideas and proposals For what we wished to do with the power that we now have. I can't see very far ahead of me now. It's too hazy. I can't even see my own brother anymore. Now we have to fend for ourselves, amidst this Green fog. We will never leave this, the hell we've created. For the ideas and intentions of our youth are what Pave the road to our creation. Here, we are God. And we shall always be God. We have replaced God with the imperfect. And so this is how it will be. This is how it will end. And there is no turning back now. |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Good piece of writing fractal007  We will never leave this, the hell we've created. For the ideas and intentions of our youth are what Pave the road to our creation. Terrific! Take care.~ Tara ~ "A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish |
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Broken Wings Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 157Miami, FL. |
yes, good work! maybe the answer lies in returning to what you once replaced. take care "As you learn and grow, you will realize the greater the pain, the greater the growth." -IYANLA VANZANT |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
"And so we trample on egg shells", very thought prevoking piece, well written with power and conviction. I enjoyed it, thanks for sharing. Regards, Olias. |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
i really liked the story-telling fromat of this, as well as all it implied. the part about lying to the brother was really wel-written. i just generally liked it. jann elizabeth |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
This was simply wonderful! I loved this poem. I loved the story telling format in it aswell and i think the message of this poem rocks! Pretty sad considering this imperfection is what guides us to even more imperfections. We're trapped in this ever cirle of nowhere  I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. I hate your socks. I'd like to burn them! |
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DJLI Member
since 2000-06-21
Posts 237TN, USA |
Just like every one else, I think the message in this a powerful one. You're emotions in this poem are strong, and show you really care for what your talking about. Looking forward to more. P.L.U.R. |
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