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Consumed
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Consumed |
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Beenie Junior Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 27WVa |
I am totally surrounded by your presence. Completely consumed by your being. I allow you to look at me. Your eyes seeing straight to the depths of my soul. I allow you to touch me. The slightest brush of your hand sends chills up my spine. I allow you to kiss me. Lighting a passion that burns thoughout my body. I allow you to speak to me. Words of love fall from your lips. Here I stand. I am totally surrounded by your presence. Completely consumed.... by your lies. Beenie |
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| © Copyright 2000 Beenie - All Rights Reserved | |||
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
that last line got me, i wasnt expecting that! yes, often we do allow ourselves to live in lies..but we all know that eventually we have to face the truth....well written and enjoyed! and welcome to passions! ~Dawn  whatcha doing in this darkness baby when you know love will set you free? will you stay in the sea forever Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live |
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Beenie Junior Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 27WVa |
Thank you Dawn. This is my first attempt at writing poetry.... The kind words were what I needed! Beenie |
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Virgin Suïcide Member
since 2000-08-11
Posts 319Netherlands |
hey Beenie it was really a wonderful poem!! great job! welcome at dark passions and keep on writing!! love and hugs, Virgin Suïcide...  "I love the way you love, but I hate the way, I'm supposed to love you back..." Love is hard to live... Try to live life in love.... |
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LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Heya Beenie!  Welcome to Passions, hope you'll enjoy it here just as much as I do! Liked your piece a lot! Very unexpected ending, very cool. Hope to hear from you again, take care! LM  |
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darkstar Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230Port Richey, Fl, USA |
Hello...welcome to passions...I enjoyed the poem. I have experienced something similar...very cool though. Dark Star |
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Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
Wow. It drew me in as it was, and then the quite unexpected ending. Funny, a lot of things like what you've captured so well in this poem end in an unexpected twist.... ironic. Welcome to passions... I'm looking forward to seeing more of you! Never give your heart away, it will always come back broken. ~Lil OnE~ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Welcome to the family! I really like this..it's your first? Geesh! (when you were little were you a Beenie Baby? LOL)..ok, ok. Check your email Beenie!  |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Beenie, this is great, expresses how I feel about someone, too. I like the twist at the end. Very effective. Catalinamoon |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
Hey Beenie, this is a HHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWLLLLLLLLLing welcome from the wolf. Love your first post kid. Keep it up. Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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MiseryDivine Member
since 2000-06-13
Posts 114Chicago! en america...oh lala! i wish i lived in England.....(sigh) |
hey....this was really good...i really liked it...i loved the ending...very very kewl...keep up the good work...oh yeah...n welcome to passions my friend All i want in life is to be happy It seems to me How messed up things can be Everytime i get ahead I fell more dead ~KoRn~~ |
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!!! Member
since 2000-08-12
Posts 137VA (U.S.A) |
Welcome to (Dark) Passions. First off, let me say that this was a neat poem. The ending really threw me! Hope to see more posts from ya. -"Death is the servant of the righteous." |
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sash Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 125 |
Great job kid! Watch out for the last line! Quite a curve Ya threw there! Nice piece. Keep posting. Take care. ~Sash~ |
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sweetcollege_girl Senior Member
since 1999-12-03
Posts 872just about where I want to be |
Very nice poem, Beenie. Awesome for your first! I didn't get this many replies from my first poem, but after I reposted it, I got..maybe half this many Anyway, keep up the good work, and welcome to the Family! stay cool  ~~Lavada~~  "For every beauty, there is an eye somewhere to see it. For every truth, there is an ear somewhere to hear it For every love, there is a heart some |
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Click Member
since 2000-06-11
Posts 202USA |
Welcome to DP2!! Very good poem...I read it several times!! First poem? You are a poet by nature... It made me think...I like that...The last line got me!! Thanx!! Click |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Beenie! Welcome to Dark Passions! I really look forward to reading some more of your work... 'cause this was just superb!! I really didn't expect the ending! Terrific! |
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