»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #2
»
Delusional
| Dark Poetry #2 |
|
Delusional |
|
|
poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia 
|
Delicate phantom laughter Weaving intricate intangible patterns That blanket a fading frame Of humanity left to weeping Voices filtering through distance Chanting a long forgotten vision Of childhood undeciphered A mysterious language of lament Follow the whispering song Of the weakened flame that burns Behind the soulless gaze Of youth left disenchanted A beckoning from far beyond But originating deep within Promises this broken sallow soul If her life ends, infinity begins. ~Dawn whatcha doing in this darkness baby when you know love will set you free? will you stay in the sea forever Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Dawn van Krieken - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
ilph Member
since 2000-07-28
Posts 78 |
wow the meanings in this one are endless. Im not sure who she is, maybe humanity as a whole, maybe earth, maybe some portion of 'disenchanted youth' somewhere, or maybe more personal. Whatever it is, it works on all these levels. Haunting imagery. What an amazing poem! ilph. |
||
|
darkstar Member
since 2000-08-09
Posts 230Port Richey, Fl, USA |
Wow...I really liked it. The word you used described it very nicely. Dark Star |
||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I agree, this is a beautiful, haunting poem. Take care Cat.... Words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling, like dew, upon a thought produces that which makes thousands, perhaps millions think. Lord Byron |
||
|
brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Can I just say wow, because I can not say anything else this one has me speechless. Excellent poem Dawn. "Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis |
||
|
poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
ilph:thank you so much for your generous reply! just put a smile on my face (a much needed smile!) darkstar: thank you!  catalinamoon: thank you for seeing it as beautiful...you are very appreciated! Brian:thank you! dont know how i managed to leave you speechless, but it sure has given me a boost! ~Dawn< !signature--> whatcha doing in this darkness baby when you know love will set you free? will you stay in the sea forever Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live [This message has been edited by poutprincess (edited 08-16-2000).] |
||
|
the applicant New Member
since 2000-08-16
Posts 8england |
~poutprincess, i loved the flow of this piece. the following lines really touched me... Voices filtering through distance Chanting a long forgotten vision Of childhood undeciphered A mysterious language of lament i'll be looking out for more of your work. |
||
|
JSage Member
since 2000-08-25
Posts 91Nashua, NH USA |
absolutely perfect! We have so much in common, Dawn. I have a poem entitled the same thing! -Jes |
||
|
LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Wow... didn't quite get it at this hour... but I think it's great...have to reread it tomorrow  Btw, I was thinking about the last one (get addicted), how you asked me to tell you if I got anyone addicted and how... Anyway, I think it's gonna take me longer than I expected, so, if anything... maybe you could write something about rehabilitation for me? I'm interested in how you get out of an addiction... OK? Thanks! |
||
|
poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
Jes: thanks once again for bringing one of my poems back!! i'd like to see your poem that shares this title....its nice to have things in common with people (even though i wish it werent the bad things we shared!). LM: always feel free to email me at anytime and i'll impart my psuedo wisdom upon you!! hahah...i will see if i can write a poem about rehabilitating from love...but right now..im addicted myself!! Thank you Both!! "Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos |
||
|
JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
this is intense and heavy...i liked it....my first time wandering around outside of open forums...gets a bit addicting....by the time I'm done there anyway...liked the weave this had in it...great writing!! |
||
|
poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
Julie Ann: thank you for coming to read me! alot of fun can be found outside those open forums! i appreciate your visit! ~Dawn "Steady as it comes, right down to you, I've said it all, so maybe we're a Bliss of another kind" Bliss-Tori Amos |
||
|
LM Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585 |
Thanks Dawn I'll be looking forward to it! |
||
|
taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Dawn, very powerful poem! Loved it! "A poem should not mean, but be" - Archibald MacLeish |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
