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poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia

0 posted 2000-08-08 01:51 PM



Poisoned was my claret of life
Now I drink of Evermore.


~Dawn


whatcha doing in this darkness baby
when you know love will set you free?
will you stay in the sea forever
Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live

© Copyright 2000 Dawn van Krieken - All Rights Reserved
Wren
Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 312

1 posted 2000-08-08 10:23 PM


That kicks! I've never seen two lines express that much! Great job! Really cool post!
-Wren

The thread of destiny
Unknown by anyone
Unseen by anyone
Winds around your heart
Moist with tears
-Vampire Princess Miyu Theme

poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
2 posted 2000-08-08 11:56 PM


Wren,thank you so much! its an oldy, but thought id give it a try here anyway! glad you liked it!

whatcha doing in this darkness baby
when you know love will set you free?
will you stay in the sea forever
Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live

fractal007
Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958

3 posted 2000-08-09 02:51 AM


Wow, interesting.  This was a very original poem.  

Is this meant to express death, or the transition into a different stage of life?  That is what I see in this work.

Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith
Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197
Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A.
4 posted 2000-08-09 02:59 AM


I have always liked brevity. One can speak volumes in very few words if done properly. You have definately done it properly here!

Sing while you may
-The Prophet Qa'sepel

Your pain is for you alone, As it is, As it was, As it will be forever, Amen
-The Prophet Qa'sepel

lotharingia
Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany
5 posted 2000-08-09 04:30 AM


This is simply amazing! I'm so glad you dug it up for us!
  


Lotharingia
"Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo



Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
6 posted 2000-08-09 04:35 AM


This is cool. How can two lines say so much?
Be well
Kethry.

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- Cole

poutprincess
Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735
Perth, Western Australia, Australia
7 posted 2000-08-09 05:19 AM


fractal007: thank you so much! and you were correct, its about death, but a welcomed death....its not meant to be sorrowful, rather meant to be liberating....thanks again for your reply!

Ian:You are the best! thank you so much!

Lotharingia: thank you for a very flattering reply.....you are all making me feel very good for blowing the dust of this old poem!

Kethry: thank you! sometimes we hear more in whats unsaid..than we do in what is said. thanks again!

whatcha doing in this darkness baby
when you know love will set you free?
will you stay in the sea forever
Drowning there for all eternity? ~Live

catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone
8 posted 2000-08-09 08:22 AM


Dawn, this is powerful. I wish I could hear more of it, because the words there are so perfect. Certainly does say what you mean in few words.  Take care
Catalinamoon

kynder
Senior Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 537
Tallahassee, Florida
9 posted 2000-08-14 06:28 PM


excellent work.  there are no words.....


kynder

Sunshine can not bleach
The snow,
Nor time unmake what
Poets know.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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