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Cool Warmth for Arrie
| Dark Poetry #2 |
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Cool Warmth for Arrie |
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EWDrake Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 183NC, USA 
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Cool Warmth ~for Arrie~ Quietly I open the door and glance inside, though I wish nothing more than the ability to shake you awake. How can I bring you back to us both as you break from sleep? In the warmth and security of the bed we have together made night and morn for all the years since in me a younger man dwelled, I watch as your flicker wanes. Perhaps we did it too well, and into our contentment One saw fit to test with a little hell the faith we never before thought to question. I watch you stir and I miss you even as your eyes meet mine. Beautifully clear eyes today. "Close the door, please. it's cold." You pretend to smile as if we think it real. "No, the blinds are fine, honey," as your eyes slip away. "Yes, I'm sure it is a beautiful day," with exasperated sigh. Powerlessly watching you withdraw, I pray I can make you understand. This is merely a task, one we undertake together as any other. You can't give up. It will get better. I would pull you close and have you repeat after me till neither could utter another anguished sound. You can do this. Awakened you slip further away. My little engine that could, know that you can do this too. Never have you been less alone than now. The desire to pull you in enfolds me though I know you wish to sit in your silence and think. I cannot bear to watch despair again settle so near. With lips drawn and eyes closed you concentrate on the cold fire as it seeps into your veins carrying its lethal messenger to battle the enemy growing deep along your soul. As your brow furrows, I know your simple prayer. "Please God, let there when the final tally taken, be more bad than good destroyed." Then till night meets dark again you sit and crumble as my heart aches for you. The blade twists and digs inside me. And when you think I finally sleep beside you, I know the grief as I feel you turn to your pillow. Blanketed again in your silent misery the tears seep out. I reach to hold you and the silence of sleep pretends to fall. Then morning slowly comes and in the shower you find the demons standing as the warm sudsy water pools over silken strands. No warnings of possibility could ever prepare you for this. I find you in the corner hugging yourself, shivering. feeling not the chill of the moment at hand but the cold question of a reality which you fear simply may no longer be. As your mind shuts down I see the glazed expression and I know dilaudid as well as grief has kicked in. Reach out, my darling, from your corner. Know my warmth along still damp, cold skin. Allow my voice to again sink in as my whispers hold you still cradled in warm arms, against loving skin. Feel more than my hands as I lift you and carry you back to bed. Know more than the nearness of me as my heat wraps round you. This pain I cannot kiss away, I cannot wish away. I know. Let me cradle you in the love you've given me. Use our strength until again you stand strong. My hands stroke the warmth as it returns. I feel you tremble. You are not alone. The tears wash over us both. Evan Drake ( For Arrie, who will never be too very far away, and who finally learned that there are better ways than self isolation, as it hurts far more readily than it protects.) |
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| © Copyright 2000 Evan W Drake - All Rights Reserved | |||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Evan, what a stunning piece of work, and a sad story. I hope the best for your friend. catalinamoon Practice can make anything perfect...even grief can become an art. Merrit Malloy |
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Deborah1 Senior Member
since 2000-06-22
Posts 653New Hampshire |
This was a beautiful peace, I felt alot of emotions while reading it, and it brought many clear images to my mind. I too hope the best for your friend!! Thanks for sharing this. The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
Let me cradle you in the love you've given me. Use our strength until again you stand strong. My hands stroke the warmth as it returns. I feel you tremble. You are not alone. The tears wash over us both. *if you are half as real as your words...you are very special ~~softly M |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Evan, again you have blown me away. What a beautiful labor of love. God,s blessing on you and your friend. Juls |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Stunning, one word. I can think of a million more, all trite. Evan, this is amazing. You've penned a piece of my heart here with your words. I have been here. And the last lines... oh too true. Much more painful. Also: Perhaps we did it too well, and into our contentment One saw fit to test with a little hell the faith we never before thought to question. I watch you stir and I miss you even as your eyes meet mine. Yep, that fits too. Christopher |
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Nikolette Sadness
since 2000-07-29
Posts 337port richey fl. |
this one made me very sad...because i have had alot of lose in my family...and it made me think of that... Nik i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness. |
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EWDrake Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 183NC, USA |
Cat and Deborah, Thank you ladies. This one was hard to write. I lost Arrie a bit back, but it took me a some time and distance to take scribbled words and emotion and sit down to put it into verse. I'm glad it touched you... Maureen, I'm all too real. Take care, m'lady. EVAN With a long held breath given dark freedom, the single flame in sorrow's window flickers out. ~EWD~ |
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EWDrake Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 183NC, USA |
Juls, thank you for the blessing and the warm response. This one is special to me, I must admit. Take care, Evan With a long held breath given dark freedom, the single flame in sorrow's window flickers out. ~EWD~ |
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EWDrake Member
since 2000-07-30
Posts 183NC, USA |
Christoipher, Nice words, Sir, as I have read your work as well. You have a fine ability with wordcraft. I enjoy your work very much. Thank you, EWD With a long held breath given dark freedom, the single flame in sorrow's window flickers out. ~EWD~ |
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