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Deborah1
Senior Member

since 2000-06-22

Posts 653
New Hampshire

0 posted 2000-07-27 01:56 PM

Written for a time not so long ago during a break-up. Things today are much better.

On scorched days
I could still feel..
A chill in the air

Why we chose each other
Became..
A worn and frazzled list
That littered the yard

Immersed in turbulence
We had abandoned all hope
A languid flight
No comfort zone

Attention riveted on
The last sounding word
Which echoed..
A grudging goodbye

To find my way..
Took iron persistence
I gathered courage
Pushing onward..

Now immersed in hope
Wth mended wings
The heart once silenced
Echoes..
A new beginning

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose...--Hada Bejar

SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

1 posted 2000-07-27 08:34 PM

~Deborah,..."Immersed in turbulence",...how creative of you. The last part makes me smile,..to atleast know that you have the hope. Wonderful work. Be well D. *Peace.

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

2 posted 2000-07-27 08:38 PM

Oh Deb, this is awesome. "A worn and frazzled list that littered the yard". Been there?? Oh yeah. I love this, go back in and put it up for book submission.

Hardrock
Senior Member

since 2000-02-14

Posts 948
New Hampshire, USA

3 posted 2000-07-28 10:52 AM

Deb...I agree with SF and Cat...such beautiful imagery here amongst the yard litter. How well I know, too, that last grudging goodbye. Excellent. Hardrock

Lynne Dale
Member

since 2000-07-18

Posts 114
Melbourne Victoria

4 posted 2000-07-29 07:49 AM

I loved the imagery and juxtaposition in this.
I especially loved
A worn and frassled list. You image what I aspire to be.
Kethry

Kethry.
as soon as you feel too old to do a thing. Do it!

lotharingia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany

5 posted 2000-07-29 12:09 PM

This is very good!
I could *feel* the friction!

Lotharingia
"Dreams are life, reality, creation" Miguel de Unanumo

Hopefloats
Junior Member

since 2001-10-30

Posts 26
NH

6 posted 2002-02-28 04:15 PM

Im back....and I am here with my new "name". How true this verse became once again in my life...ahhh but now I have found "true" love....How blessed am I!!!!!!

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