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Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664

0 posted 2000-07-27 05:13 AM

Hello All
This is my first attempt in the prose section.Hope you all enjoy reading it. This topic being close to me, I had to write something like living dead.
I would like to thank Dusk Treader(Abe) for taking the time to improve on this one.Thank you all again for reading.

                          LIVING DEAD
September rains are falling hard while he drives on the same old roads. He can feel the winds through his open window like even they didn’t want him to get there, but something within wanted to see that same tree, that road they strolled on, those benches on which they spent hours together doing nothing, that fence within which he felt so safe. It is a long drive untill he gets there but he won’t realize that because he has an ocean of thought in his mind. It’s been years since she left him for reasons which were unexplained but still after all this times she still lives fresh in his memories. As he drives through the rain his eyes become more wet than the rain. He recalls the past and wonders if it were more painful or beautiful. While he dreams every once in a while his moving wipers wake him to reality. He looks at them and whispers “some things you just can’t wipe off that easy pal." Wet black roads, dark gray clouds but ‘Lush green trees’ that’s what she would say he thinks to himself and adds I bet you prefer feathery clouds indicating that fine weather.

       Hit the highway and still going, his stereo sings out that song while he’s still lost but strangely singing to the words as well as keeping track of the roads. Hauntingly he can still feel her presence in the car as though she was right beside, helping him navigate like always.
He could even hear her voice and smell her sweet fragrance if only he could feel her touch he thought and sighed...suddenly he saw a flash and heard a loud crash.
Still had his eyes shut, this time he was almost painless. The wipers kept wiping, the lights of the car shone bright, the rains poured and he was still seeing the visions of an angel that never was with dreams incomplete and his destination undone.

Some of us live our lives, some live others and then there are those who live in bizarre world of dreams, dreams that have been dreamt over and over again. For those who dare this state of being exist in a hope and a belief of their memories that take over them completely. He had been living in the dead for too long now the dead took over.

< !signature-->

If I should fall again then they will laugh but what if this once I rise?
Avanti Rao

[This message has been edited by AVANTI (edited 07-27-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 AVANTI - All Rights Reserved
Heather Miller
since 2000-07-19
Posts 409
Bryan, Ohio USA
1 posted 2000-07-27 12:07 PM

Very intresting  

With God all things are possible.

Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
2 posted 2000-07-27 01:15 PM

That's a good start,he's still madly in love with this woman, now, can you throw in a twist like his car had been tampered with by someone working for his present girlfriend,(whom he did'nt love, she was just a convenience) who is having him killed for money reasons.
What the present girlfriend does'nt realize is that he had a son by the first woman and because of certain bitter issues had never been informed he even existed.. Then develop the charcacter of the son into the hero of the piece as he uncovers the mysterious plot of his unknown fathers death and the reason for his mother's leaving his father.....etc.

Sorry to go on see you got me going...

Junior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 49
Tucson, AZ
3 posted 2000-07-27 01:45 PM

Interesting, makes me want to know more about him... her and what happens after.
Like that it makes me think!!!

Life is not a spectator Sport!
Dance like no one's watching.
Love like it's never going to hurt.

Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
4 posted 2000-07-28 12:11 PM

thank you for reading Heather
Etholome that's an intresing twist you came up with...Thanx for getting in deeper pal..
but some how I just wanted to leave it at that...I wanted to put him across as someone who can't even think of a convienence cause he is lost in his love...
thanx for reading me and suggesting stuff it means so much...honest
few read to that depth!
Michelle I hope I can call you that...
I wanted to leave people with the impression
that for catching it
means a lot
later gator

If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves
from which evolves the light...
Avanti Rao

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