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Nate (repost from Open #1)
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Nate (repost from Open #1) |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas 
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I was eight, thin, no weight Had three elders, Anne, Tim, Nate Nate was the baby before I came Eight years my senior, never tame Pampered and coddled, he was like Dad Just a lazy drunken old bag But he played lead guitar, had a band Had a good ear, but not a good hand He and his buds in the garage Drunken and high, writing garbage I played violin, earning his scorn It became clear he wished me unborn One afternoon, I heard him in the attic Or the Bar, where Dad could be an addict In peace, drunken and surly, never a tab Bottles of whiskey turning meat into flab I heard Nate play, his best I'd bet Tuned my violin and made a duet But off, discordant sound for Pop For Nate dropped a chord and stopped Dad got up for another, while Nate sat And I saw Dad in his face, getting fat Something snapped...I know it wasn't fair But I went off on Nate, with Dad the pair He blew me off, got sullen, then angry When I slapped his face with "LOOK AT ME!!" That did it, his face shut down Leaving nothing but a thoughtful frown I bolted, violin in hand, steps by four Locking and bolting bathroom doors Frame buckles, wood splinters fly Saved by a horn beeping outside Seems Mom and siblings went shopping Saving me from a thwomping So I moved past ruined door, looking about Nate's in the garage, the lousy lout I sneak to Anne's room, and slip outside Mom has company and spies Me still carrying my violin case Asks if I can give a taste I smile, unship, rosin and tune Played a silly piece I called "Mayflies in June" I look up and see the rifle bore aimed at me Nate looking through the scope at me A long thin ugly note from my violin And my world explodes Alicat |
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| © Copyright 2000 Alastair Adamson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
alicat..wow..thats some memories.. dg "i speak in written word--my lips, no sound may utter..." dgvarner |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Wow..some memories...couldn't read this fast enough. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Great writing, my friend... you have my vote!  "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
superb poetry. voted. |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
This is another brilliant one! I really love your stuff. The rhymes are so original. Is it based on reality? Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Put me down for 6 votes |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Alicat~ Wow ! Such an emotionally packed action piece ! You do grab the reader and pull him/her in. Wow ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Justbleu Member Elite
since 1999-08-31
Posts 3329Oregon, Originally From Alaska :) |
Some picture there you really created...Wow!!!! Very nice!!!!!! Bridgette "Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Wow! Hard hitting, and the ending is excellent. Nothing can deter a poet, for he is actuated by pure love. Who can predict his comings and goings? "Thoreau" |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Ali. This one gave me the chills. Very sad story. Denise |
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