Voices on the Web |
The Steel Sonneteer |
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
The Steel Sonneteer or The Tracks of Loneliness You were long ago christened loneliness Perhaps while you sang broken hearts to sleep With a melody of mourning you caress Your gentle rocking urging eyes to weep Heavy strains of melancholy softly ply A sympathetic cadence of seduction You've been a long and moving lullaby Echoing hints of more hearts destruction Play your sirens call elsewhere down the line Sound your whistle of woe for someone new I'll cross your trails- slowing at your sign You'll let me know each time you're passing thru With those who've bought their tickets for your pain Because they love to ride the singing train < !signature--> Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". [This message has been edited by Prometheus (edited 07-11-2000).] |
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© Copyright 2000 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You were long ago christened loneliness Perhaps while you sang broken hearts to sleep With a melody of mourning you caress Your gentle rocking urging eyes to weep Heavy strains of melancholy softly ply A sympathetic cadence of seduction You've been a long and moving lullaby Echoing hints of more hearts destruction ------------- Jamie this is beautiful... loneliness laced with seduction slighly haunting... very well written... excellent metaphor use I think i like the second title best... but thats just me take care jm< !signature--> I think I could need - this in my life If you're gone - baby you need to come home there's a little bit of something me In everything in you MB20 [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 07-11-2000).] |
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Siren's Song Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 17 |
OOhhh Jamie.. what a "conductor" of words you are.. I could hear the rails singing the blues to me as I read this.. blessed be poetman! |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh Jamie, this is amazing the description of lonliness hauntingly told, You do it well sweetie Excellent writting! |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Yeah - wot Maree sed! Lol - Jamie, this rocks! Here are the lines that I just love: 'A sympathetic cadence of seduction You've been a long and moving lullaby' Wooow K |
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epoet Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 291grand rapid,MI, usa |
really good images here. flows really well and can feel the pain of heartbreak. great poem P. J. Kotrch carpe diem A soul once touched is a soul once blessed by love |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
lovely, lovely words, too lovely Jamie, this is another of your great poems... regards, sudhir |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
A wondeful poem Jamie. You are really very good. Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Wow, this is wonderful. I could hear everything so clearly. What a great piece this is!!! Bonnie |
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Geoffrey Sonnen Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 142Reading, PA USA |
Boy, Jamie, this is incredible. I was feeling a lot while reading this. I guess I picked up on the loneliness and the references to singing. It's really dream-like and beautifully sad. I'm voting for you. Geoffrey |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Vote |
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Nicole Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835Florida |
Ooooo! Vote! |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks to you all from the bottom of my no train riding heart! Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
very well written... agree with Janet If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
well written. enjoyed the read. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Great poem, Jamie! I enjoyed this very much! Denise |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
wow! this is wonderful--i love it! dg "i speak in written word--my lips, no sound may utter..." dgvarner |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Avanti-Mike-Denise-DGVarner Thanks for reading, and for the kind reviews. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
Jamie, I believe this needs to rise... I would vote for the title alone... the following poem more than lives up! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Marvelous! Voting here. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Christopher and PDV, Thanks, considering the source, high praise indeed. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Tanga Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 39BC Canada |
Your stop sir!! Take care as you step off the sirens sorrow songs rail ride ! Hugss<**> |
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Tanga Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 39BC Canada |
Your stop sir!! Take care as you step off the sirens sorrow songs rail ride ! Hugss<**> |
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Tanga Junior Member
since 2000-07-02
Posts 39BC Canada |
Toodles.. Two tickets for the price of one!! Hugss <**> |
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