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In Search of a Soothing Breeze
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In Search of a Soothing Breeze |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium 
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~ After 2 reworks and lots of help from Kamla (Thanks a lot), I think this is good enough to be my third poetic (and my last) offering for the book. ~ In Search of a Soothing Breeze In you flew, a soothing breeze, From through the westward window, Clearing the summer's dirty crease, And wiping the sweat from my brow. In you came, shining through moonlit shadows, Ruffled feathers, I stroked, your butterfly wings, Whispering sweet verses of love's haloed glow, In your arms I enjoyed the breezy swing. Pausing between rock-steady glances, I stared, lost in the starlit milky blanket, Gazing at the dazzle of the Orion advance, You said, I'd lost interest, caused a racket. Your light departed after an inflamed talk Deathly silence left behind in this heart, Excused yourself on the pretext of a walk, I stayed broken, love spilt, ripped apart. Yet, a passionate flame remains still in its burn, In these darkened rooms of my wintered home, Pieces of my heart, for you, continue to yearn, Seasons have changed, but I persist to roam. I walk untried paths in a mystical potato race, Searching for your love, magic of your grace, An embrace, a lingering kiss, is all I desire, To drown the pains and douse my heart's fire. I am a devout follower, a pilgrim with a love disease, A chaser of dreams, in search of a soothing breeze. ~ < !signature--> Death, be not proud, though some have called thee, Mighty and dreadful, for thou art not so; - John Donne [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 07-11-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Sudhir Iyer - All Rights Reserved | |||
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ESP Member Elite
since 2000-01-25
Posts 2556Floating gently on a cloud.... |
Darn right this is good enough for the book!! This is excellent poetry, Sudhir! Lovely! Love and hugs, Lizzie  "Poetry is the true expression of my soul, it is my ultimate means of communication. It is my rainbow of delight." |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Would that I were the softening Breeze to whisp 'round your ears, tickle your knees to sweep o'er you as in deep grass you lay but brother Wind has carried me away... and so have you, Sudhir, this is very well done, and speaks with a charm all its own... Sunny ~~~Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. Helen Keller ~~~ When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Sudhir--This is a lovely poem and it feels like you--charming and sensitive. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
You are most welcome Suddy!!!! Hehe - good to see it here and yes, I think it should definitely be included...still lovethat last little couplet...  K |
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epoet Member
since 2000-05-11
Posts 291grand rapid,MI, usa |
bravo sudhir. good way to show how a heart can still feel so much love for someone who no longer loves us. great poem. P. J. Kotrch carpe diem A soul once touched is a soul once blessed by love |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Lizzie, So glad you think so, thank you Karilea, Would that you were the soothing breeze, I would be blessed indeed... thank you Martie, such a lovely response, I am honoured. Thanks Kamla, Thanks for everything... thanks a great deal epoet, Thanks a lot for saying what you just said... My regards to all, Sudhir |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
An excellent choice to submit for the book Sudhir. Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
good poem Sudhir... well wtitten. If all was light...then I would have never learnt the dark...from which such truth evolves from which evolves the light... Avanti Rao |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sud, im so glad you submited this...I already told you how awesome I thought it was in open and its even better now...going into the book very fine writing later-submit-gator  jm I think I could need - this in my life If you're gone - baby you need to come home there's a little bit of something me In everything in you MB20 |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Sud, im so glad you submited this...I already told you how awesome I thought it was in open and its even better now...going into the book very fine writing later-submit-gator jm I think I could need - this in my life If you're gone - baby you need to come home there's a little bit of something me In everything in you MB20 |
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jamesjiao Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 268Backwaters of Avalon |
It must have been a sad feeling to lose someone you love so intimately before 'cause of a mistake you made.. I feel for you, and this, your last poem, shall be included in the book and to acknowledge this, I shall vote for you - James The beauty of nature is displayed, not through itself, but through the creatures dwelling within its bosom. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Sudhir~ WOW this is so incredibly sad with such longing...very well written my friend Love Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Marina, Thanks a lot for reading and your kind words... Avanti, Thanks for reading... Janet, Thanks a million (and even more).. btw, did you also vote twice  James, Thanks a great deal for sharing the feeling and more... Tracie, Thanks a lot for your very appreciative words... regards to all, Sudhir |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Excellent writing here Sudhir you have my vote Yes, I am here, but I am dead, not alive, my body goes on, my spirit has died and I though alive, feel dead inside. "Rose Petal" |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
This is so sad, yet, so beautiful...just full of heartfelt emotion. Bonnie |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Dark Angel, Thanks a lot for your very kind words... Bonnie, Thanks for the apreciation offered... regards to all, All your words mean a lot... regards, sudhir. |
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essenceofangels Junior Member
since 2000-07-12
Posts 36 |
Beautiful poem!I have become quite a fan of your poetry is expressed with such love and compassion for it! Love Essenceofangels "Look back on time with kindly eyes" "A word is dead When it is said, Some say. I say it just Begins to live That day." |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
VOTE |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Essenceofangels... wow what a name... I am humbled by your kind words of appreciation... I am really glad that you liked my poem and am thankful that you read it... Balladeer, Thanks for the vote... regards, sudhir [This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 07-13-2000).] |
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