»
Archives
»
Voices on the Web
»
Fever
| Voices on the Web |
|
Fever |
|
|
Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
Mother's lips on my forehead "feels like a fever baby doll so, (cooing coercively) take this (sideshow pink) PeptoBismol Tylenol Cough syrup (the apetizing "cherry" flavor) just to be Safe." Her lips again "and get some sleep" Head on pillow, feet 'tween sheets these fever dreams Southern summer steeped ya give me fever So Hot on the Beach in a Parka. but then this man appeared in fire red swimtrunks and he give me fever sat down and helped me pull the Parka off and fever! the sun seems harsher when you kiss me but it was fine cuz suddenly we're swimming in frothing liquid (Nyquil?) but I am fever weak and I want him to...need him to when you hold me tight help me stay afloat cuz I think I'm... and then we're back on the Beach ya give me fever And fever his eyes (his hands?) are on me It felt...fever all through the night so much Skin chills nerves send So Hot on the Beach Fever! I'm melting Fever! We're melting Fever! into each other And we're Waking. to sweat soaked sheets One hour sixteen minutes and zero seconds later with Seafoam geltabs by my bed and jazz songs on my mind. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Elyse Wilcock - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Dawn Eclipse Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637The Horsehead Nebula |
Elyse~ Wonderful poem. You took a subject like Illness and turned it into a great poem.  "Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying." Harry Anderson, "Night Court" *Cassandra Roseen* |
||
|
Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
glad you liked it. is it very wrong to vote for your own poem? well, im gonna do it anyway. mwahahaha  |
||
bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Elyse, More power to you. I just hope you were talking Fever as in the original version, not the Madonna one. Don't get me wrong, I love Erotica, but man, that album was so cold and distant. (give me Bedtime Stories anyday!) Anyway, great poem. Mike |
||
|
Colin Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596Callington, Cornwall, England |
A tribute to a pharmacy? hehehe just kidding I liked this lots Elyse.Eric. "We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka. |
||
|
JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Fabulously done! Bravisimo! I loved this one. Definitely voting for it even though I will be singing that damn song for the rest of the day.... Hey all, I have been cruising around here, looking for poems (particularly in this forum) with the least amount of responses and checking them out. I know my natural tendancy is to read what everyone else is replying to to see what the furor is all about. What I am finding is some wonderfully written work that seems to be going unnoticed and example is Martie's "Elliptical Light Evermore" when I read it, it had 0 responses, and I found it to be fabulous - as is this poem "Fever". I'm not saying that the rest of you don't do this, or anything like that, but if you have the time, troll around the back pages of these forums and look at these posts with just a few responses, chances are you will find something wonderful that has either gone unread thusfar, or had an angle that left others wanting for a proper response... Okay, I'm stepping down from my soapbox... P.S. This was an ingenious poem...  Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
||
|
Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
you flatterer! you're sure to spoil me if you keep this up |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
very cool poem...(no pun intended)  like the creative twist to this imaginative and great imagery... well written and thought out work take care, jm |
||
|
X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
oooooooh this was a very, very creative poem....I agree with JP that there are way too darn many poems getting buried, I think there is nothing wrong with hitting the archives and dredging some of these beauties back up to the surface where they can breathe! ~Heather |
||
|
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I like this much Elyse...I was singing along... |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
