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since 2000-04-16
Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC

0 posted 2000-06-21 04:08 PM

Mother's lips
on  my forehead
"feels like a fever baby doll
so, (cooing coercively)
take this (sideshow pink) PeptoBismol
Cough syrup (the apetizing "cherry" flavor)
just to be Safe."
Her lips again
"and get some sleep"

Head on pillow, feet 'tween sheets
these fever dreams
Southern summer steeped
ya give me fever

So Hot on the Beach in a Parka.
but then this man appeared
in fire red swimtrunks
and he give me fever sat down
and helped me pull the Parka
off and fever! the sun seems
harsher when you kiss me
but it was fine cuz
suddenly we're swimming
in frothing liquid (Nyquil?)
but I am fever weak and I
want him to...need him to
when you hold me tight help me
stay afloat cuz I think I'm...
and then we're back on the Beach
ya give me fever

And fever his eyes (his hands?)
are on me
It felt...fever all through the night
so much Skin
chills nerves send
So Hot on the Beach
I'm melting
We're melting
into each other
And we're

Waking.  to sweat soaked sheets
One hour sixteen minutes and
zero seconds later
with Seafoam geltabs by my bed
and jazz songs on my mind.

© Copyright 2000 Elyse Wilcock - All Rights Reserved
Dawn Eclipse
Senior Member
since 2000-01-31
Posts 637
The Horsehead Nebula
1 posted 2000-06-21 06:36 PM


Wonderful poem.  You took a subject like Illness and turned it into a great poem.  

"Even a fool knows you can't touch the stars, but it doesn't stop a wise man from trying."
Harry Anderson, "Night Court"

*Cassandra Roseen*

since 2000-04-16
Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC
2 posted 2000-06-22 12:07 PM

glad you liked it.  is it very wrong to vote for your own poem?  well, im gonna do it anyway.  mwahahaha  
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855

3 posted 2000-06-22 12:30 PM

More power to you. I just hope you were talking Fever as in the original version, not the Madonna one. Don't get me wrong, I love Erotica, but man, that album was so cold and distant. (give me Bedtime Stories anyday!)

Anyway, great poem.


Senior Member
since 1999-06-05
Posts 596
Callington, Cornwall, England
4 posted 2000-06-22 08:55 AM

A tribute to a pharmacy? hehehe just kidding   I liked this lots Elyse.


"We are the music makers and we are the makers of dreams." - Willy Wonka.

Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343
Loomis, CA
5 posted 2000-06-23 12:01 PM

Fabulously done!  Bravisimo!  I loved this one.  Definitely voting for it even though I will be singing that damn song for the rest of the day....

Hey all, I have been cruising around here, looking for poems (particularly in this forum) with the least amount of responses and checking them out. I know my natural tendancy is to read what everyone else is replying to to see what the furor is all about.

What I am finding is some wonderfully written work that seems to be going unnoticed and example is Martie's "Elliptical Light Evermore"  when I read it, it had 0 responses, and I found it to be fabulous - as is this poem "Fever".  

I'm not saying that the rest of you don't do this, or anything like that, but if you have the time, troll around the back pages of these forums and look at these posts with just a few responses, chances are you will find something wonderful that has either gone unread thusfar, or had an angle that left others wanting for a proper response...

Okay, I'm stepping down from my soapbox...

P.S.  This was an ingenious poem...  

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.

"Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway

since 2000-04-16
Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC
6 posted 2000-06-23 05:50 PM

you flatterer!  you're sure to spoil me if you keep this up  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-06-23 07:21 PM

very cool poem...(no pun intended)  
like the creative twist to this
imaginative and great imagery...
well written and thought out work
take care, jm

X Angel
Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521
8 posted 2000-06-27 01:01 PM

oooooooh this was a very, very creative poem....I agree with JP that there are way too darn many poems getting buried, I think there is nothing wrong with hitting the archives and dredging some of these beauties back up to the surface where they can breathe!


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

9 posted 2000-07-15 12:18 PM

I like this much Elyse...I was singing along...
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