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Open Poetry #9
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Intuition-Premonition Gone Awry
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Intuition-Premonition Gone Awry |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada 
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Intuition-Premonition Gone Awry I had an urge, an instant need, that came from deep within; A feeling indescribable, sent shivers through my skin! The hairs upon my neck were raised, my stomach lurched and leapt; My heart, it quickly skipped a beat, and suddenly ... I wept. I know not where this feeling came, but steadfastly, it held; My intuition ringing loud, it could not be withheld! 'Twas something not quite tangible, that begged me to pursue This haunting premonition ... at the base of it was you! I saw you there, in my mind's eye, just screaming out in pain ... And all the while, your words they echoed, calling out my name. Your hurt and terror filled my soul, it shook me to the core; Your face was etched with anguish, as your screams came hoarse and raw. No matter how I tried to block this vision from my mind, Such trepidation filled my soul ... no peace there was to find. I could not let the moment pass a single second more; I had to know the reason, so I bolted for the door. I grabbed the keys, my purse and coat, I stumbled to the car, With hands that were now trembling; senses reeling, thoughts ajar. "Oh Lord ... reverse ... where is it, please ... back up and to the right?"; My foot held clutch, I jumped the gas, and backed into the night. The traffic heavy, "Wait your turn, slow down, calm down!" I pray; But urgent thoughts took over, as I quickly sped away. Down winding roads, I kept on course, and then a splat of rain, Upon my windshield, drizzling now, "Just stop!", I cried in vain. But forces, they propelled me as I drove into the night, My intuition taking over ... driving this, my flight. "I'm coming!", raced my mind to you, "Just hold on, I'll be there!" "I know you need me, just hold on, a few more miles!", I swear. And then, as if slow motion, as I round the final curve, I see a figure dart across the highway and I swerve! My car begins to spin ... I try, correct it to the right; But on this rain-swept highway ... overcompensate tonight. I spin as in a graceful swirl, till suddenly a thump; And now the car begins to roll, first backwards, then to front. I see the road, I see the sky, I feel the pain I've wrought, I'm tossed and turned, while seatbelt dangles, uselessly forgot. A final sound I hear and then, I'm flying through the air, A bird, I'm soaring ... there's no pain ... it's beautiful up here. And now a thump, I hear it though I'm somehow far away, As blackness soon surrounds my mind, I slowly drift astray. *** He heard the crash, a sickening sound, as tires shrieked and stopped; Then followed by the piercing roar of metal grinding taught. He ran to his front window just in time to see through rain, His lover's car, as it slowed down ... upturned, wheels high, remained. He bolted to the door and ran, his heart was in his throat, And reached the car in seconds flat, he tried to seek her out. The tangled wreckage held no hope, he scanned with frantic eyes, And locked upon her body there, he gave a piercing cry! *** I saw you then, dear love of mine, I heard your distant cry; I saw your face was etched in pain, the anguish in your eyes. I had a thought of deja-vue, a vision I had seen; But slowly then, it drifted off, as if 'twere merely dreamed. "I'd comfort you, please know I would", as you call out my name; But high above, I'm floating now, toward a light-filled plane. /Kit McCallum [This message has been edited by Kit McCallum (edited 08-09-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved | |||
Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Wow, Kit. That was intense and suspenseful. Very well done as always...I guess this should teach us not to let our feelings get the best of us. Great work. Elizabeth Why ME??? |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kit~ As one who receives ... I can relate to this poignant piece. You took the idea and presented it in action-occuring verse. Really well-done. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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CAVECANEM Junior Member
since 2000-08-05
Posts 43Nevada USA |
What can I say How can I explain You captured it all. and took my breath away..... |
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oh2beme Member
since 2000-07-24
Posts 215NV USA |
As always Kit, BRAVO!!!!!!!!!!!!! You amaze me more each time I read a piece of your work!! I LOVED IT!!!! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Kit, This one has blown me away... I am groping for the most correct words to say .. till I find them .... I will simply leave you with My regards -sudhir. |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Wow Kit, this is simply incredible. Pulled me in and held me from the beginning to the end. What a wonderful piece of work this is, totally amazing. Bonnie |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Wow Kit!! this is unbelivable I can't find the words to say how well done! The presentation is so well crafted and holds the reader like a magnet and the content...well.. the content..that's something else!!!!! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Elizabeth: ... and to wear seatbelts too!  Thanks Elizabeth!~Marge: I thought you'd know the feeling Marge .. glad you enjoyed!  ~Cavecanem: Thanks so much Cavecanem ... what a lovely comment, and Welcome to Passions! ~Oh2beme: Thank you so much for the BRAVO!! Much appreciated Oh2beme (still love that pen name) ~Sudhir: Blew you away eh? That good or bad Thanks Sudhir!~Bonnie: Thank you so much for the Wow and wonderful words Bonnie! ~Ethome: Oh Ethome ... thank you very much, so appreciated! Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Kit, this is wonderful! It has a great flow, and your great storytelling skills shine through every word. Keep up the good work! "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde "The robbed that smiles steals something from the thief" -Shakespea |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kit...Amazing work...Bravo!! What a story! What a talented story teller!! |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow, what a tlae you've weaved with your poetic thread of words |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Lovebug: Oh thank you Erica ... I'm straying a bit off the beaten path lately, trying to branch out a bit. Your words mean a great deal to me, thanks! ~Martie: Thank you so much Martie. I was a little nervous posting this one, as I wasn't sure if the story would appeal, or if it may disappoint ... thank you for your kind words! ~Ruth: Thanks very much Ruth. Your comments mean a great deal to me! Very much appreciated! With much appreciation, /Kit |
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Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
Oh my,Oh my, I am speechless, I don't know what to say Except, of course, as I read it, it took my breath away. The imagery and action, surrounded me as I shook the pain I felt for his loss, simply over took. This was amazing......WOW! Jenn E |
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