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Open Poetry #9
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catalinamoon
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

0 posted 2000-08-06 10:20 PM


Wander where the thoughts are sent
clouds of black now silver tint

Portents of doom dissipate
dreams of magic resonate

Hero arrives, magnificent
loved attained to cease lament

Forever they live happily
but just within the reverie


This is a repost from Dark Passions, but it went off the page so fast, almost no one saw it. I would truly appreciate feedback, as this simplistic style is different from my usual.


© Copyright 2000 Sandra - All Rights Reserved
doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
1 posted 2000-08-06 10:24 PM


this is wonderful... yes, it's simple, but oftentimes, less is more... it is succinct, vivid, emotionally charged, and dynamic...

i enjoyed this very much and will look for more of your work. if this isn't your usual style, i'll be interested in reading the more complicated pieces, too. nice to meet you and thank you for all of your kind words this evening.
*smile*

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
2 posted 2000-08-06 10:25 PM


i was just thinkin as i read it how simplistic yuh but it packs a smack of punch a breath of fresh air in a small place..wonderfully done now as to that punch it packed...got any ice???
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-08-06 10:32 PM


this is perfect..less is more when the words are well chosen and expressed..
you should try senyru, tanka or haiku stle poems...I bet you would be great at them based on the impact of this ...
nice to have you in open posting
take care
jm

There are places inside our souls -
that have never been touched.
There are places inside our hearts -
that need to be loved this much.
~jm~


Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
4 posted 2000-08-07 02:00 AM


CatalinaMoon~
Simply lovely and thought-provoking.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com


passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
5 posted 2004-05-02 08:18 PM


glad I found this
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