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Open Poetry #9
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If I Were Going To Need You (jumping into the bandwagon driving seat)
| Open Poetry #9 |
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If I Were Going To Need You (jumping into the bandwagon driving seat) |
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grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
It's a little long, sorry... (where is the org. challenge?) Strange patriotism my warm spot for something that is, was never mine Listen to it pound and pound summered in something like an acid that saddens. A subtle kind of ache, you can't ignore: misquito whisper . So I guess you're the buzz that wants my blood but baby you could have had your fill cups and cups of liquid ardor to spill over your hands over your lungs something to keep and cover us for years and days and all moments in between but I guess you didn't care to catch it I suppose you didn't feel the need To feed your fear, to give into the greed of love. I keep this reflection, like a mother reading over her child the motions I completed, regrets I deliberately had done Is this how I see your spaces and still marvel over them? God, you still catch me so quickly. Hence, if I thought I might begin to see you as necessity, I would keep myself prepared. Because if I had you as an addiction, I'd take us back into my consideration and beg you back into my biography. I might forget your intentional carelessness with me; your cryptic bull****: verbal shatter; the mess I'm still untangling 'neath my ventricles. Pen divine instead: your brilliance, benign understanding, your impish grin teaching me all hope, all despair. I might beckon salty memories, taste them with regret. Maybe I would fold out my hands to you, maybe I would unlock my head, maybe I would crawl into a corner seeing myself better for not needing you, and forget that we had ever met… |
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| © Copyright 2000 Megan - All Rights Reserved | |||
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grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
I'd love a critique... and if it's terrible, tell me. (Ditto for the rest of the recent posts that have yet to fetch comments tonight -- does my script become invisible after 11pm ???) |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Hi there, It's only ten past nine pm here, and I saw you easily LOL And it doesnt suck..... in fact, it almost sounded like a song to me. So many taking up the challenge this time, and I'm glad u did too. Going to wander around and enjoy a few more, like I enjoyed yours. Take care, write more, submit before 11 and have a good day. Linda Munday ...  |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
grandiloquent, Guess what it's 11.11 pm here and I can still read this so it's not a pumpkin, but it must be magic for it captured my heart. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
JMHO but you write prize winning poetry - and this is no exception - You have my assurance I will read all you write - and I expect to see you winning - Do submit somewhere - if you need venues just ask |
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grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
Somehow I feel like Cinderella...  Linda, What perception! Almost all of my poetry tends to be lyrical (even if it may not seem as such at first). I find this inclination is due in large part to devouring music night and day... the rhythm of the songs (and often the rhyme scheme) show up in what I'm writing. It's a tricky form of plagiarism  . p.s. I guarantee you'll love the other responses to the challenge; some are phenomenal! Kethry, *blushes* You're too kind... thank you for such a sweet reply. Billy, I'm trying to lighten up... really. I keep posting and watching each drift further and further away without a single reply and get all huffy and frustrated (too much hot young blood ... Then I wait a day or two and find the early morning risers have dug me out (and in floods guiltly embarrasment).Maybe one day I'll learn patience. Until then, I'll try biting my tongue and sitting on my hands. Thank you as always for your praise. As for the venues: I would LOVE suggestions. |
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