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Open Poetry #9
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Unmasking the Flirt....
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Unmasking the Flirt.... |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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It's time to grab the pulpit To send out the message clear Unmasking this foul culprit That can be seen lurking here. It's not a pleasant thing to do I don't like dishing dirt But I am forced to say to you That LongJohn is......a FLIRT!!!  I've seen the man in action. He's as slick as he can be. He's tries to get reactions With his false sincerity. Poor Lorelei just sits and grieves And cries on his behalf. She hates it when her man deceives But hangs around for laughs. He uses every trick he can, Plans each word carefully To show gals he's a decent man Not filled with lechery. He'll build you up and get you hot Until you weep and moan... It's not his fault. The man has got Too much testosterone!!! He once said, "Marge, that's exquisite!" Sounds nice - but wait a minute - Because, if we examine it, We'll see what's really in it! (that'S EXquisite) See how he slipped that word in there? The man's as smooth as silk! So, ladies, you had best beware With people of his ilk. Now that I've brought this fiend to light It's best that you steer clear And pick a nice guy on this site Perhaps, like Balladeer!!!  |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
ROFL Brilliant Wit Micheal.... |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Balladeer my deer, you know I love ya and all, but that sailor is so sweet how could you malign someone who really is so neat, even though you made me smile...er actually laugh just now, I hate to do it at his expense, why don't you pick on Toe. LOL---too funny and the Marge bit..she is going to have something to say...I just know! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
ROFL!!!too too funny, michael... geez... i hope pandora sees this one... hehe  |
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shadow of poetry Member
since 2000-07-22
Posts 76midwest usa |
pirates cant be trusted this is a well know fact all those swashbuckling moves we all know its just an act a man who kicks lil kitties well he just cant be for-real Still Lady Lorelie loves her pirate man and her gentle heart he did steal perhaps there is side of him only she can see maybe those tender romantic poems he writes really are sincere But if a girl must choose between a pirate or a poet ... then hands down my heart belongs to Balladeer *winkiewinkie* [This message has been edited by shadow of poetry (edited 09-21-2000).] |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Bal, top notch job here..... but he just loves the free publicity. Can't wait to see the rebute to this gem.... Oh and talk about slick,,, sneaking your name in the end their. pure genius. Parker |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Evening Balladeer, I am assuming you and Long John are friends! Oooww and ouch, hoping that you are. If not, just hide at my place! Very nice Balladeer. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Aye, 'e's got a nice left 'ook, 'e does... But no one compares to the "Big Mack"!!! chuckling again....The 'Ham' Burglar strikes again!!!! |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I'm laughing my head off now...thanks Balladeer for unmasking the Flirt... and he is such a good one at that...James |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
 The pirate is a cad for sure Using tricks to act as a lure You can see by the refection of him That goods looks on him are mighty slim ROFL@ You sir. well done....BRAVO....nail the sucker to the wall....BTW-I hear through the winds that you are the favored above all the rest |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I know for a fact laptop's in tact now if he'll turn it on where is that ol Long John? |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Rebel....I thank you. I am at least half that Martie....you have proven my point exactly!!! They say the mark of a great con man is one who has the support of his victims...that's you!! You have been bamboozled!! Don't worry. There's help....uh, where do you live again? Doreen...thanks for the laugh and I have a feeling she will.... Shadow....I accept your heart anf double winkie graciously Parker...yes, I'm sure he'll have something to say. Oh, did I put my name in there? I hadn't noticed Bill.....Friends? With that pirate??? You bet we are!! 9but thanks for the offer )Serenity....with you in my corner I am invinceable!!!! The burger salutes you James...yes, he does have it down to a science! Thanks for enjoying... Mark...nail the sucker to the wall? You are a man after my own heart!! uh, where are those winds? I'd love to listen to them!!! sunshine....he's cowering in the dark, afraid to come out.....yeah, right.  [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 09-21-2000).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
ROFL  I can't wait to see the reponse to this!!Denise |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Well, of course, unmask him, I mean flirting should be outlawed, why the very idea of someone flirting it just is so unseemly...heh heh This is wonderful, I laughed until I almost cried! Kathleen |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
*astonished look* LJA is a flirt????? wow, you learn something new every day... ROFG....this is too cute |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
ROFL deer! Tis a good one me lad! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
ROFL ... Oh, I knew I shouldn't pull this site up during office hours ... they'll surely catch on to me soon! Smiling widely and laughing "quietly" here ... great poem Balladeer! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Maya the Brokenhearted Member
since 2000-02-13
Posts 66 |
OMG Long John is a total flirt...but I hear tell he took all his lessons on chicanery from some rat down at Balladeer's School of Romance...  |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
ROFL....can't wait to see the "Touche`" |
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Jenn E Senior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 589Kelowna, BC, Canada |
This was great! LMAO........It is so hard to read everyone and I know I don't read you enough........I must change that.....this was in great fun.......We all need to laugh a little more don't we! LOL Jenn E |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
So longJohn has been unmasked and I wander now what will you be Balladeer once longjohn gets to thee? lol I hope I'm not niave to say and maybe your steering me the wrong way but Balladeer your sweet! |
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Lorelei54 Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 458 |
Long John may indeed be a flirt, but I assure you all he is 100% mine...all the time...take this morning for instance..hmmmm |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Hello, my "friend" Balladeer - It pains me to see these words *tears falling down cheeks* - I must reply and attempt to repair what appears to irreparable harm to my sterling reputation as a defender of womanhood. ------------------------------------------ The gloves are off, the bell has rung Balladeer, you should be hung. I haven't lost respect for you (I had none to start, it is true.) Am I a flirt when all I do, Is tell sweet ladies, who are blue, That they can have royal coaches, Six white horses, and no roaches? Sure I tell them they are fine, And I wish they could be mine. The words I pen are true, sincere. I must protect them from Balladeer. I know it looks like Long John flirts, When he attempts to lift the skirts Of pretty gals as they go by, But I assure you, it's a lie. I lift the skirts as they pass by To see if they're made by DKNY. And to check for washing instructions, I admit cleanliness is a compunction. As for saying I think they're grand, Yes it's true, let the charges stand. I've fallen for each poetess, Because I worship the distaff sex. And if I stray from propriety, It's because I fain sobriety, For when I drink of their tender cup, I swear I can never have enough. A flirt you say? I must confess, Guilty as charged, because I obsess Over the beauty they radiate, That blinds my soul (ain't this line great?) And if I say I think they've penned, A poem that stirs the hearts of men, Take it from me, I speak the truth (I know you need further proof). Oops, I've be caught online again, By the woman who stirs my pen. No, Lorelei, don't believe what you hear, It's a pack of lies from Balladeer! How could I flirt, my Lorelei, When I've pledged my love til I die? You know you're the only girl for me, Please tell her ladies, make her see. --------------------------------------- So, you see? That scalawag Balladeer told a pack of lies! I do not flirt *eyebrows wigglin*! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Hmmmm... and it took Balladeer this long to figure out the obvious? LOL. Still... he announced his findings with flair... complete with a a bit of LongJohn-esque begging at the end. *G* Great job, Deer one... and kudos to the sailor's response! *G* |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
You know, I've read your poem... < !signature-->And it seems so very clear... That LJ isn't the only one Who flirts here, Mr. Deer!! He is a bit more crafty Than others that we know... But that's because he's a Pirate, And he must put on a show!! Now, you are more in charge of the place, You've not a thing to fear... The ladies at Passions are waiting... For the flirtatious Balladeer!!!! Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! [This message has been edited by Sunny1 (edited 09-22-2000).] |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
There off and racing in the flirtation stakes the winners will be, who reads these out-takes Balladeer lamoons Lohn John and then He retaliates and it goes round again 'Deer is a flirt, but a gentlemen too Long John's tied to Lorelei's string of shoe the musketeers are missing the third in this race We really need Toerag to put a smile on our face. It's neck and neck running with John and The 'Deer When it comes to flirting, how I wish Toerag was here. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
had to read ~G~ to make sure innocent little me ~L~ wasn't the object - (whew) great fun and the replies were worth more than the price of admission |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
ROTFLMAOITHRED!!!! LongJohn, your entire reply was terrific but the "six white horses and no roaches" will forever be etched in my mind as one of the great lines of the 21st century!!! p.s. as far as I should be hung, well.....shhhh! Don't tell nobody...but... |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
ROTFL....Grabs her popcorn and looks forward to round two...My dear 'Deer you two are too too much...lol Juls |
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pandora Member
since 1999-07-26
Posts 184 |
if longjohn ever flirts with me, i'll bury him in litter! that sailor is no friend of cats - today, i called dean witter - i read these words from balladeer and might need some protection from longjohn's sly flirtatious glance, and internet affection!  i NEVER KNEW he was a flirt! i read this and it floored me! it makes me glad that sailor dude has pretty much ignored me! except for all the kitty-kicking banter in this forum, he's kept his distance from pandora, maintaining some decorum. i'm glad i read this news, however, just in case he tries it! i wouldn't doubt that if he did, he lies and then denies it! so thank you, mr. balladeer, for posting this fine ditty... (and let me know if you're inclined to flirting with a kitty) oh, btw, what does ROTFLMAOITHRED mean????? < !signature--> beware pandora's box... [This message has been edited by pandora (edited 09-23-2000).] |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Mr. 'Deer Boy do I ever enjoy reading your poems. They make me laugh so. I try to catch my breath but my head shakes to & fro (southern term).My side hurts and I message the pain. I read another line and scream that's ashame. I see tears fall to the ground, but I'm not crying. Although these are tears of laughter, my ailments make me think I'm dying. I'm still ROFL. Garfield |
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