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Open Poetry #9
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But I want you
| Open Poetry #9 |
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But I want you |
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grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
I can’t have you But I want you I don’t want you But without you I’m no good for me You stole in and filled up me in fathoms, baby Then you stole out again and emptied all of me so I tried, I tried so hard to hurt you Instead I only ended up crazy and that’s what you saw That’s what you saw, what you still thinkthought of me I wanna say I don’t need you, or I need you but I don’t want you anymore But I just can’t have you I can’t have you But I want you I don’t want you But without you I’m no good for me When I touch my little longing mind to you, darling I think of casting out and catching, I think of washing my hands in the sea and of walking into moonlight over quietude into summer’s heavy breathing, when alchemy’s in the breeze silver grass, grey resplendent skin, and the ache around me like a fine, fine robe inside me child songs are spinnin’ inside me spite and beauty are bursting smiles into laughter inside me caverns barely reassembled feel the tremors of a caving in my eyes round themselves in the itch of tears my brain tightens with the worst of my fears my chest balloons and twists itself fastened at my throat And I can’t help believing I love you I love you deep where there’s no doubt, I’ve no way out of myself than to love you ‘cause if I can’t believe in you, I just stop believing in me So I wish and want it was better for me to get you, honey That it was better for us to be in quiet company I wish and want to gather you up and possess you forever But when I see you, baby, it just wrings out the joy in you and in me So I wanna say I don’t need you, or I need you but I don’t want you anymore But I just can’t have you I can’t have you But I want you I don’t want you But without you I’m no good for me, so I’ve gotta need you, baby, for my sake only… But I am two thousand miles from my need. I want to say if I was where I could touch you, I could touch you But she’s still holding your hand where her vessels meet And I’m still the rolling eyes of your past; When you were young You were foolish enough to see what good there was to me And I’m still foolish enough to be blind to anyone’s words but yours to me So if I could only crawl behind you and listen, I wouldn’t have to have you But I want you, I want you and I, I can’t have you I can’t have you But I want you I don’t want you But without you I’m no good for me |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
This is tremendous!!!!!! I really like the way this comes across, and the fact that you get into the 'wanting, but can't have' thing. We all suffer with this one!! Great write........ Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Grandiloquent~ Confusion is so hard to put into words - and yet you did it. I did enjoy this phrase particularly - 'inside me child songs are spinnin’ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Confused??????? or not....I am not sure are you? What a wonderful verse stating the minds little processes we go through. You actually did it so that it all made sense. Excellent piece from you. I think I must now become a fan.  |
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grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
Sunny~ I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for such high compliments! I expected quite a few "I can relate!" replies to this post... Marge~ This was written exactly as it babbled into my head... What better way to tether confusion? Also, I have to tell you how much I appreciate that YOU can always be relied upon for bringing favored lines to attention; I love having choice bits written back to me. Thank you for the time and regard I see you give to almost every poem I read. Mark~ Thanks for the insight. I'm so happy you enjoyed it! (p.s. I think banners and foam hands are somewhere in the forum index) *note: I love this place! Everyone is so supportive and considerate... You guys are the best! [This message has been edited by grandiloquent (edited 09-20-2000).] |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Chalk up another for Grandiloquent! and my admiration goes higher and higher! (too many phrases here to single out for my 5* ratings) |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
How on earth did this make it all the way to page 5. This is a wonderful piece and I'm bumpin' it to the top!! --You can either take me as I am...or you can watch me as I go.-- |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Grandiloquent-You've captured well the turmoil within, to want what you can't have, and hate yourself for loving anyway. Good piece, nicely stated. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
grandiloquent...another excellent poem...I really do enjoy your writing! |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
This is so well penned, you have captured exactly the turmoil within. Very well expressed, and so well put. I like this, not just because I can relate to it, it's also an excellant read. |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
like this, seems my mind runs in the same vein, confusion is hard to put to paper but you did a great job, just wish I didn't feel it so clearly ....sigh....great poem |
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grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
WOW! This is what happens when you leave for more than 24 hours... Billy, Are you following me?  Thanks again... I'm starting to expect (most agreeably) your comments, you'd better be careful!Tennessee, Thanks for the boost! We new poets need the extra kick now and then. Gemini, Exactly the interpretation of my feelings as I wrote this. It's wonderful to see your kind of insight. Martie, It's nice to believe I'm gaining a bit of a reputation... I only hope I can keep delivering. And I'm so glad to hear so many people saying that they enjoy a piece, instead of only an impersonal comment (though those are very much appreciated). Marsha, Your picture looks just like my mom's cat! It's marvelous that I could capture dual sides of your commendation; thanks for the input! Corazon, This is the sort of pod the peas wonder how they got stuck in! Sorry to hear your sighs... I hope your situation improves. (Or are you referring to the constant shuffle some minds are at all times? In which case, I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL! :P) |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
Twist, turn, struggle. All within the mind. What a great piece of writing. You penned confusion without confusing me! (No small feat!) A great feel and a great flow. Musical and rythmic... just great! Trev. |
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