»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #9
»
If I Were Going to Need You (Meeting my own challenge)
| Open Poetry #9 |
|
If I Were Going to Need You (Meeting my own challenge) |
|
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL 
|
If I were going to need you, I'd fall from within myself, Dazzle you with my smiles, And test the trail of unquenched madness. Madness is what would follow, In a world, Where I could be allowed, To need you without limit. Possibilities may be endless, But actions are limited, To forbidden facts, And annoying walls of friendly defense. If I were going to need you, You'd rest here in my world, Agreeably ready and willing, To take on my newfound adventures. If I were going to need you, I would still be here rambling. I'm still here. |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Jennifer - All Rights Reserved | |||
Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Temptress~ Oh .... I like this ! I like it VERY much ! If I were going to need you, You'd rest here in my world, Agreeably ready and willing, To take on my newfound adventures.' Wonderful ... and the closing .... Ahhhhh, perfect ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
||
|
Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Oh, I'm with Marge. I too love this one! I can relate to this so well it's almost scary. Perfect in this girls eyes!  ~Sheri |
||
|
Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Wonderfully written and voiced. The ending is so perfect. What better way to say..........!!!!!! Great write and just me smiling as I walk away. |
||
|
Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Marge, Irie, and Mark: Thanks dearly for reading. I am so excited that you all enjoyed this, and also that I was able to finally do an effective ending again. |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Temptress, I loved the form and ending of this one and I'm glad I didn't read it before I posted, cause it gave me a whole new way of thinking and I'd have been here all night trying to get my head and my words around it. Good challenge. Great post. Be well Kethry. "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
||
|
X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
If I were..... wunnerful sweets... I liked this muchly ~H |
||
|
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
I'm getting a little group going at the front for all the night owls, or early birds who haven't read or responded to this challenge yet. Won't you join us? Great work. Oh I already said that didn't I  "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
||
|
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Nice work, my friend... I like your challenge and I like your response.... I'll do my best to work up one of my own as well..  |
||
|
Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Very nice thoughts put in words wonderfully. I really liked the ending. |
||
|
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
So this is where it all began...BTTT! |
||
|
Marq Member
since 1999-10-18
Posts 222 |
Jenn, This is a wonderful poem! I liked it very much. ((HUGS)) |
||
|
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Jenn, this is really excellent. You are very talented, m'dear |
||
|
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
and what a great challange it was..or is..thanks..your poem is wonderful! |
||
|
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Temptress, this is excellent. . . you have given everyone a great line to work with and they're doing their best!! Wonderful. . . ------------------------------------------------------ That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
||
|
tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
This is a fantastic read...well penned indeed Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
||
|
grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
Temptress, I so adore your writing. The ending hits like a punchline... beautiful. ~ megan [This message has been edited by grandiloquent (edited 09-22-2000).] |
||
|
kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
just popping in to say that like everyone else, i think you have left the reader with a memorable ending |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
