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Aluminum Clouds
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Aluminum Clouds |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396
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Aluminum Clouds Aluminum clouds trickle down lanes of open wide plains they spread their tears like wine on cloths of virgin white woven thread through and around and under and to I've seen them in my day I've washed the stains away I've taken a minute to examine the chemistry to feel the earth come alive in me I've passed that place before with feet bare and cautious eyes I've licked the drop of time in spaces too confined and twisted weighty draperies hung in the hall by the answers to it all by the fountain of fueled energy I've been there, I've been here and I shall be back again. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 09-21-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 SpitFire - All Rights Reserved | |||
catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Great poem, SF, glad to see you again. I am in a poetic stall at the moment, myself. This was another of yours I could relate to very intensely. Take care. Sandra |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This really reached me SF..Like it immensely!  |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Hi SF...... Yes...this is great, and I agree with the girls above.....it was easy to relate to!! Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
There are so many honestly amazing poems being posted tonight... ~ I've licked the drop of time in spaces too confined and twisted weighty draperies hung in the hall by the answers to it all ~ Really excellent lines here. 'Fire, would you enlighten us as to what your inspiration was for this verse? It seems a day/moment worth telling (although though you've given such a befitting description of it here, a plain account would be exceedingly complimentary). Reminds me of T.S. Eliott on a smaller scale. my relation... Hear the howl of things spindle down to a comforting whine my legs feel like spiders fingers intertwine black of branches between the leaves the sky thick like gel inside my eyes I feel my femininity close. orange street lamps -- sparkles on the cement imprinted on my thighs. [This message has been edited by grandiloquent (edited 09-20-2000).] |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Thank you all for reading. As far as interpreting it, well, I thank you for your interest, that's very cool, very. I'm happy see  . Ok, it's not about a single topic so if you can imagine me sitting down and letting my fingers loose on the keyboard then you would understand the mix of things in this one. I sort of just let it out and then went back and pulled from it what I could for my own sort of meaning and what it related to in my life. It's sort of neat that way, reading it on your own for the first time and not having this set image, situation, event, time etc. in your head to start with. So,...here, line by line I'll try to explain, and please excuse me if it makes no sense at all.*Aluminum clouds trickle down ~Usually clouds are soft and billowy and in the past couple weeks I think I've had the sense of these sharp and edgy sort of 'clouds' over my head raining down on me. And if you can imagine the sound of rain falling onto aluminum then there's another effect...the loud sort of hollow and dreary sound it makes. *lanes of open wide plains ~this would be open wide plains of me as I've been having these feelings of being exposed and feeling sort of vulnerable to the outside world, and there are so many avenues of me that I felt were just out there. *they spread their tears like wine ~these clouds, they spread their tears, their drops, like wine,...over good times with friends, over conversations and events, times that I should be enjoying, but am saddened by the tears, by things going on inside of me. *on cloths of virgin white woven thread ~onto my me. This may make no sense but my me was being invaded by these tear/rain drops of wine and it was taking a toll. *through and around and under and to ~Obviuosly in all different aspects of my life they were there,...all around, to the point where there was no escaping, just facing. *I've seen them in my day ~Basically, I've had these feelings before, I've felt them and their effect. *I've washed the stains away ~well, I've tried, I think this part came from having been through certain things and having dealt with them and then washed out the stain they left on/in me, although I'm not sure that they come out ALL the way. This part also sort of relates to having this incredible friend who helped me to sift through it all and sort of dilute those stains you know? *I've taken a minute to examine the chemistry to feel the earth come alive in me ~Again, here's the reference to the friend helping to examine All aspects of what was going on and helping me to feel the good energies. *I've passed that place before with feet bare and cautious eyes ~That place of being and feeling free,...Like I said, I passed it, passed by with bare feet,(another vulnernable to pain or infection if you will) and cautious eyes, cautious of how real it was. *I've licked the drop of time in spaces too confined and ~the drop of time being pressure and it's been so close lately that I've licked it??? Not sure where that came from but, basically, I've tasted the bitterness. In spaces too confined and never room for my free to 'be'. *twisted weighty draperies hung in the hall by the answers to it all ~I take it you get the image. but the reference to the twisted and weighty relate to the answers, they're either never there or if they are they aren't clear to me....they're twisted and yeah, weighty. *by the fountain of fueled energy ~Ahh,...imagine a fountain bubbling with electrified energy, energy from the series of events and states of mind I've been in and through. *I've been there, I've been here and I shall be back again. ~Exactly that. What I went through isn't something you go through once and you're done with it, it's a continuous journey, as is life. ~Sorry I got carried away with that, perhaps you were just looking for an explanation on those few lines but it just all came out. Sort of fun actually. Thank you for reading this far. And again, sorry for the length and time involved in this. Take care of yourselves. *Peace. *Oh see, now I realize you asked for the inspiration,...ahhh, I've let the cat out now. Too late.  .*Hey G,...WOW on the bit you left. Heated and heavy and sort of a stinger you know? One that stays with you afterwards. Awesome. *Peace. [This message has been edited by SpitFire (edited 09-20-2000).] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
I really enjoyed this SpitFire, nicely written! I had some of my own interpretations before reading the responses, and was pleasantly surprised to see your personal explanation in the thread. You've expressed yourself well in this piece, with or without the further detail, and now knowing your full intent, it's interesting how closely some of these aspects came across in the poem to me as the reader. This was fun ... much enjoyed both the short and long versions! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Fire, great to see you back. I've missed you and your poetry.*HuGS* Oh btw good poem, no matter what it means. Be well Kethry. "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~Kit,...thank you kindly for your time and for replying. Glad to hear your feedback. Take care. ~Kethry baby,...thanks for stopping in on me, and for your encouragement. You take care now too. *Peace ladies. |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Your flame burns a shade of blue Eternal light of love of you The warmth when you're near Makes it all clear The clouds blow away And you're still here today Free as a candle flame Flickering to my name Burning to a bright yellow A soothing warmth of mellow Lost in your flame Lost staring in your flame Lost in the warmth of your flame ____________________________ How are you my candle light flame  |
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