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JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

0 posted 2000-09-18 03:43 PM

Feral whispers call me,
echoing in empty skull.
Beckoning fiercely to me
urging my screeching lies.

      hush

Whisper death of humanity,
sing the song of corruption.
Play the game of malevolence,
rolling dice of life,
betting on saintly failure.

       quit

In earth's swirling mass of slop,
mankind's society ebbs.
Cloaked in madness disguised as right,
masked in hatred painted in light.

         quiet

fueled by selfishness, guided by greed {demon's seed},
Camelot dreams shrouded by pedestrian schemes.
Bohemian desires eeriely lit,
by suburban housewife fires,
and death's stench permiates,
from crawlspace of wasted minds.

        futility

Tomes of ostentatious rebellion,
bound in popular garb,
cries for change sounding the same,
from lips stained with blood.
Prophets of a new age,
shrieking with manufactured ire.

         stop

Feeding on the souls of the stupid,
shouting defiance to the evil,
which they, themselves, perpetuate.
doomsayers of endworld,
prophets not, yes - profiteers.

Humanity,

insanity,

inanity.

< !signature-->

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

"Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway

[This message has been edited by JP (edited 09-18-2000).]

LngJhnAg
Member Elite

since 1999-07-23

Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

1 posted 2000-09-18 03:57 PM

JP - very deep - and profound - I like the way you build and then decrease the poem. I especially like the way you ended it.

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

2 posted 2000-09-18 06:15 PM

Thanks for the thumbs up. Much appreciated.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

"Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway

JP
Senior Member

since 1999-05-25

Posts 1343
Loomis, CA

3 posted 2000-09-23 01:47 AM

Yeah, I cheated and bumped my own poem... selfish and petty to be sure, but I'm hoping a second chance would give me some valuable feedback on this one.

Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn.
JP

Most people would rather die than think; in fact, they do so.
B. Russell

Irie
Senior Member

since 1999-12-01

Posts 1493
Washington State

4 posted 2000-09-23 01:57 AM

Well JP, I'm not sure my feed back will be valuable, but here is my imput. At least I'll try anyway, I seem to be at a bit of a loss for words with this one.

Long John is right....this is very deep.

"and death's stench permiates,
from crawlspace of wasted minds"

WOW.....this is what I call awesome. Really it all is, but this line jumped out at me.
This entire piece is very intense, and left me somewhat intrigued.

~Sheri

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

5 posted 2000-09-25 07:23 PM

Your work continues to have a depth and intensity that obviously project your innermost ponderings... Your personal angst and experiences give your poetry an ambience unmatched by any I've seen, my friend... You know that I'm not generally a reader of dark poetry, JP - and yet yours continues to intrigue me... Nice to see you here... It truly is..

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