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Open Poetry #9
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Where Memories Flow Like Water
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Where Memories Flow Like Water |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada 
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Where Memories Flow Like Water While sitting near a gentle stream, to while away the day, Far from the chaos of my life, I lift my head to pray; I look about this quiet scene, the meadows to the left, The mountains back and to the right, the high, unyielding cliff. Below a darkened cavern, where the minors dug their gold, A cave now dark and empty, like my heart, a vacant stone; "Why can't it be like long ago? Please take me back in time," "To simpler days I treasured so, when life was sweet and kind." I bowed my head in silent prayer, that I might be returned, Then suddenly, a flash of light, a crack of thunder heard; My heartbeat raced, my eyes, they burned, my ears went slightly deaf, Disoriented, for a moment, stood to catch my breath. What force of nature had occurred, as daydreams overtook? I turned to see familiar sights, but dropped to knees and shook! For wonders of all wonders, as I gazed behind me now, Was water rushing down the cliff, where none had been before! I stumbled closer, rubbed my eyes, amazed at what I saw, 'Twas water, high cascading, from the giant cliff above; Beyond this sparkling waterfall, through sheet, like falling rain, I heard a sweet familiar voice, 'twas calling out my name. I hesitated, terrified, but moved toward it still, And saw beyond the water there, the cave was bright ... light-filled. In disbelief, I entered then, beneath the rushing flow, The pounding liquid rushing past, this luminous window. Drenched and short of breath I exit, to another world, As dreamscape there unravels, and this fantasy unfurls; I hear my name, it's called again, I look from left to right, I scan my new surroundings, as I try to quell my fright. I'm here, in my old neighborhood, in times that were sublime, I'm back nigh thirty years or more, transported back in time; Perplexed, dumbfounded, "Can this be?", I turn from whence I came, To see a fountain, not the falls, through which I'd heard my name. And as I stood amidst the coins, in water to my knees, I heard a softly spoken child, 'twas whispering her dreams; Her eyes were closed, her head was bowed, a single teardrop fell, Into the waters there beneath, the fountain's wishing well. I heard her voice, quite clearly now, this tiny, little girl, Was praying for a wish that day, a dream ... a miracle. "Why can't it be the future now?", she whispered out aloud, "Please forward me to better times, where I'll stand tall and proud." "Away from all the pain I feel," she sighed, and then looked up, "Transport me to a better place, where I can be grown-up." Another teardrop graced her cheek, as slowly then, it fell, And at that moment, tossed a coin, into the wishing well. And from my reverie I broke, as then I heard my name, The voice was loud and clear this time, I turned my gaze that way; A woman so familiar there, was walking t'ward me now, With arms outstretched, and gentle smile, I knew this face somehow. I opened mouth to speak, but then, she passed me by and sighed, As she bent down, embraced the girl, to comfort as she cried; "My little one, don't run away, you had me frantic dear." The woman hugged the little girl and rocked her through her tears. "You'll grow up soon enough, my sweet, don't try too much, too soon." "Some day when you are older, you will sing a different tune." "For everything takes time, my love, just wait a little while," "The pain will ease, just give it time, we'll get through this," she smiled. The little girl grinned back at her, and took the woman's hand, And there beside the fountain, they embraced, and smiled again; The woman reached inside her pocket, grabbed a little coin, And tossed it in the fountain, wished aloud a final time. She said the words I knew by heart, this wish she prayed, you see, For there, reflected in the water ... stood my mom and me. The memories came flooding back, they weren't such simple days, But time had healed those little wounds, just like they would today. I watched them as they walked away, myself and my sweet mom, And turned toward the falling water ... back from where I'd come. /Kit McCallum |
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| © Copyright 2000 Kit McCallum - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
Loved it ... every word  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent piece, Kit! Very well written with a great message. We do tend to glamorize the past forgetting the hurts of those days. I guess we should just always appreciate the present moment and not get hung up wishing for the 'better days' of the past or future. I enjoyed this very much! Denise |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kit, dear sweet poet~ I've written you the reasons behind these beautiful tears of rememberance. Please know that I will treasure this piece until I see my mother again beyond this life. Thank you - thank you - thank you. As poets, we never know when what we've written is going to reach out and profoundly touch someone's life ... or do we ? You have and I thank you. Bless you for sharing. Love you~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Kit, All I can say at the moment to this beautiful piece of poetry, is thank you so much for putting it here. Like Marge said, you never know when your words are going to reach out and touch someone's life, and that they did with me. Thank you again.... Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
This touched me, it really did... great great work... regards to you Kit, Sudhir |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Kit, this is a beautiful poem, one to make you think. And I think I'll call my Mum tonight. Dee |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
How could this not touch any who read it. Your words are tremendously powerful in this one. You will find many people loving this and if there were a way for all to see this and it's beauty then I would wish for that to come true. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~Rex: Thank you for the "loved it" Rex, I appreciate this a great deal! ~Denise: Oh, you summed my thoughts up beautifully Denise ... thank you so much for reading! ~Marge: You're so welcome Marge. I think that was one the most beautiful and heartfelt e-mail responses I've received ... and thank you again dear Marge. Hugs to you! ~Sunny: Oh I'm so glad this touched you too Sunny ... there's a lot of hugs going around with this one. Thank you so much! ~Sudhir: Thank you always for your sweet words Sudhir ... always greatly appreciated they are! ~Dee: Oh Dee ... this is music to my ears. If I've touched you enough to call your mom ... that's thanks a thousand fold. Very appreciated Dee! ~Mark: Mark, your wonderful responses are so genuinely meaningful to me ... thank you so much for these lovely words! Much appreciation to all, and thanks for making through some of these long reads /Kit |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Kit - This is the equal of any of the classics that have been placed into the Forums. You've related to us all a lesson we all tend to forget - pain knows its time, and its degree. And in time, it fades as we take on more responsibility. You've told a wonderful story here. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Kit, allow me to echo all of the others, as this story has left me rather speechless. Every line, every image, one of a sweetened brilliance, Kit. My mother waits for me, also, through our waterfalling fountain. Thank you so much for this lovely poetic gifting of both remembrance and hope. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Kit, Your tale has gripped my heart and the tears I cry are those of sweet remembrance. I lost my mom 8 years ago and oh what I wouldn't give for a chance to see such a beautiful sight as the one you have painted here. This was superb. You have captured every detail very well. I really enjoyed this one. Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Good gracious!!! I guess this will teach me to be away for awhile... I get blown away by your talent! *G* Wonderful read, beginning to end. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~LngJhn: What an incredibly wonderful response LngJhn ... thank you so much for these words! ~Claire: Oh Claire ... It is my turn to be speechless ... you're so welcome ... your words mean so much to me, thank you for this! ~LoneWolf: I'm so sorry for your loss LoneWolf ... and so glad I was able to bring a moment of sweet remembrance for you, thank you and take care. ~Suthern: Hello Suthern! Wow ... glad you're back and enjoyed the read, thank you sooooo much for the wonderful response. I appreciate it! Much appreciation to all, /Kit |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Thank you Kit. Just had to come back and add this gem to my library. It is wonderful. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Kit* Your talent to capture moments and memories like this is absolutely amazing...I stated when I came here to Passions that my responses would always be from my heart...you make that so very very easy to do that...this is beautiful~ |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Kit, what can I say? This is really brilliant...well-planned and well-penned. You have a style that warms the heart of the old balladeer.....  |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
I knew when I saw the title, that this one was going to be good...WOW. Truly a unique, and touching story poem...my favorite style as you know! *sigh* Lovely, just lovely! So glad I didn't miss this one! Bravissimo dear Kit - keep telling those tales, they're so beautiful! |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
~LoneWolf: Oh I loved that ... thank you again LoneWolf! I am honoured! ~Butterflies: What a wonderful response Butterflies ... I'm so glad you enjoyed, and left me with these incredibly beautiful thoughts to treasure. Thank you! ~Balladeer: A great big thank you hug to you Balladeer from this humble student ... for you are the Master! These comments sincerely meant the world to me, I thank you so much! ~PoetFemme: It's so great to have you back PFF! Thank you so much for these wonderful words of encouragement ... I really appreciate it! With MUCH appreciation to all, /Kit |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
Kit, Kit, Kit, Magnificent!!!! With a capital M and four exclamations marks. This is truly inspired and wonderfully written, and long but at the same time, so short that I wished it was longer. Thank you for sharing such a beautiful piece of work... as artistic as any classic. Loved it...rave rave rave Linda Munday |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
i can honestly tell you that this poem is one of the most beautiful pieces i have ever read on this website. i am literally crying from reading it. it is classic, kit! absolutely classic! i cannot tell you how deeply this poem touched me. there are no words. often, on these poetry bulletin boards, i read comments by others such as i am making here and i wonder about the sincerity of them... so i hope you know that i am not saying this lightly... thank you so much for writing this. on monday, when i have a printer available, i will print it out and save it... as something i will always treasure ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Fantastic work, Kit! This is definitely a keeper, one that should be submitted to poetry magazines! Corinne |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Kit, I am in awe. I'm quite serious....this is remarkable. You've really done such a wonderful job here. Michael Proust- "Love is space and time measured by the heart" |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Dear Kit; This is one of the most beautiful poems that i've ever read, and oh, how it touched my heart. My mother passed away many years ago, and just today I was crying as I heard her favorite song on the radio and my 12 year old daughter, Laura, hugged and comforted me. This wonderful poem is a comfort too. Thank you. Love, Ellie Summers haunting melody that awakens the butterflies, calling them to join the dance in their silent song of praise to God. eL |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
kit- wow...this is incredible...one of the most beautiful and touching poems I have ever read. this brought tears and goosebumps...touched me deeply. thank you so much for sharing. -vicky p.s. a big 'thank you' to marge for pointing me in the direction of this beauty. "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet. -vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 09-10-2000).] |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
A good lesson for us all - I'll have to rethink - some of the times I've been singing "I did it my way" - beautifully done Kit-- truly - I'll save this one |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Dear Kit I would have missed this wonderful piece if it hadn't been for Marge (thanks Marge) This is surely the most beautiful and precious piece of poetry I have read in a long time, you have done well Kit this is a very lovable piece Love Tracie xx Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
hi KIT, There's really nothing more to say that some1 above has not said about this breath-taking poem you've shared. Thankyou for this embracing read... Coco [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 09-10-2000).] |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
ps... I'm keeping this one [This message has been edited by CocoBaci (edited 09-10-2000).] |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Kit This is a poem to treasure, indeed. I think I read into your heart, and I know what this poem is saying. It is very touching and beautiful, and exquisitely written Liz |
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Dopey Dope
Moderator
Member Patricius
since 2000-08-30
Posts 11132San Juan, Puerto Rico |
Wow, Kit I am very happy that you gave me the link to read this poem. It is so amazing. I loved how you portray that no matter when the time is, you just have to always let things heal WITH time, rather than use time as this portal leap into where happiness reigned and sadness was covered up. I loved the poem! Simply just loved it. -Javier Agosto- I was born myself, raised myself, and will continue to be myself. The world will just have to adjust. |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Kit, You have pened such beauty, I am in total awe and chills run up and down my body as I can actually feel the water and see it cascade over the fall. very much loved it. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kit--I wish I had new words to say what all have said above...this is an outstanding poem, both in content and form...and sure got me thinking about my mom beyond the waterfall...thank you for that! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
A friend of ours pointed me to this, and I am very, very glad she did...well done, Kit...a story within a story...and told well. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Kit~ Even more beautiful on this remembering night - *Hug* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Mysteria
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328British Columbia, Canada |
You 'know' sometimes when I feel slighted in having no real family growing up, I like to spend a night in the archives sharing in the families of others. This was one of those nights I missed that and you too.  |
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romancewriter New Member
since 2009-01-04
Posts 1DeQueen, Arkansas |
A bit of magic in this one. Good job. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
Kit, how happy I am to have stopped to read this poem. It's amazing. Simply wonderful. Alison |
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