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Open Poetry #9
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Out of Giving
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Out of Giving |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA 
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You said you wanted happiness, A thought that sounded great. You said you needed peace of mind I offered you a plate. You said you wanted me around. I showed you how to make it. I gave the opportunity How come you didn't take it? You know the things I need to have. My life's an open door And, in return I'd give and give, And then I'd give some more. But, either I am very dumb Or you're not very smart. While I spent my time giving, You were taking me apart. You never tried to understand What I was all about And now, instead of giving, I have simply given out. Frustration makes my muscles ache But life is for the living. How sad you finally came to take When I was out of giving. < !signature--> Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? [This message has been edited by Balladeer (edited 09-17-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Geez, I just got caught crying at the computer again...thanks alot, B'd...this --almost immediately after laughing til I cried with Marge... you wrote too well of a sad, sad, situation. Although it will look cute on my refrigerator...smiles and thanks, and you think they'll believe it's hormones? (I'm not crazy--I'M NOT--I was just reading POETRY...)----SURE LADY, SURE. HUGS. |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Wow! That's great! A few years ago, I wrote a poem about the same thing, but, it wasn't quite as good as yours!  |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Balladeer~ There are givers and takers in this big ole world ... *Hugs* iffen ya' need 'em ... and bigger *HUGS* iffen ya' don't ! Now what kind of a win-win situation is that ?  I like hypothetical situations ! They're so much easier to solve.  Love ya' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
some women are just blind they dont know when they have the best some women like to play games and put love to the test Its not you who is "dumb" its her that is the fool one day she will realize ... she blew her chance...cause you just RULE (and you write so dang COOL) this is just so YOU ... and thats a VERY GOOD thing touching deep with this one sweet deer jm |
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grandiloquent Member
since 1999-07-08
Posts 104Midwest America |
Oh, how I can relate. I hope this is a glance-to-the-past poem instead of a present situation. In the latter case, on the bright side, it seems you have a truckload of supporting friends who recognize you for what you are (not to mention will suffocate you with hugs in these types of situations). Forget the people who use, abuse, and/or suck the life and love out of you; everyone is worth more than that. p.s. excellently titled. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Oh Bal I see a sad face but a huge heart I somehow think that you will find the strength to get through this. sending warm wishes and a BIG HUG your way Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
~This is very sad...But it looks like you gained insight..And that's a great thing....Thanks for sharing!!~ ~Cherie~ |
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cathybohannan Member
since 2000-07-31
Posts 140Paintsville,KY |
You have a great gift of how to put just the right words down to express how you feel. Cathy |
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RainbowGirl Member Elite
since 1999-07-31
Posts 3023United Kingdom |
Bal: Will you please quit reading my mind all the time HUSG "If you always do what you've always done You'll always be where you are right now." Author Unknown |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Balladeer, I think your real name is Quick Draw McGraw. I was working on a poem along the same lines I'll post it as soon as I finish. As always An excellent rendition of the subject matter. ENJOYED. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
quote: boy, do i know this feeling all too well!!! ...reminds me of my first marriage... oh, and my second marriage... LOL... aw hell, i give up!  hehe... *wink* thanks for posting this. as always, your poetry is wonderful! |
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ddgoose Member
since 2000-07-25
Posts 250Baltimore, MD, USA |
Balladeer You certainly have quite a few of us who can relate to your situation. Remember - there is someone special out there who will love you for what you are. Join the club of "lookers annonymous". I like the comment of "Quick Draw McGraw" too. Just in case you need a big hug, I am sending one your way. didi |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This poem is right up my alley (are you sure you're in the right forum?) I'm a giver by nature, the words flowed and were so insightful. People can sometimes suck the life right out of you, once they learn you are that type of person, they come back for more. I had a friend once, a nice girl who pretty much used me for her "feeling good drive up window" a fast food restaurant type of friendship, where she drove off and I was left holding the change. I loved this one, it really spoke to me, but then all of yours do, that's why your filling up my library!!! Kathleen |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Balladeer, this is one of the more serious poems you've written and I really like it. You are so good at humorous writing. I knew there had to be a serious side of you. Thank you for sharing it, though the poem hit hard as to my relationship now, me being the one it's directed towards. I don't need much giving. Too much is annoying. I've been on my own for five years...and it's hard to get used to someone there, giving all the time. But then the way you wrote this poem makes me appreciate his giving a little more than I have, knowing it might not be there when I need it. |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Geez this one brought tears to my eyes. It touches a little too deep! For things that bring back memories, and I guess not all resolved. Damn Deer you have a way with your words! |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Balladeer--Yup, I been there too...you see life situations with such empathy and write with such great talent...I hope this is a little piece of fiction for you or something from the past, whatever...you get a hug anyway...just cause you're so deer. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Oh how this stung...its always so hard when only one person is willing to give...even tho I believe love is not a fifty fifty split. Love is giving %100 by both and when its only one giving you do give out...HUGS to you sir |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Deer one, somethings just ain't meant to be, no matter what we do. Corinne |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Deer, as always passionate and brilliant. But this one touched a chord in my heart. *HUGS* to you. Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
I thank you all for such wonderful and sincere comments. Belonging to Passions is wonderful for the poetry but equall as special for the comments and the way everyone literally bares their souls and opens their hearts in their replies. You are all wonderful people. No, this is not a true life experience. I'm just a poet, that's all, in touch with feelings in life and trying to portray them in a worthwhile fashion. Thank you all for allowing me to..... |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Oh this broke my heart, but now after reading your response I'm thanking God no one did this too you....Whewww ya had me worried there for a minute....lol...Loved it. Juls |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent, Balladeer. I'm glad it's fiction for you, though! Denise |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I'll simply say - bravo - well done |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Glad to know that this is not a real life experience for you. I don't know how you write without experiencing it but as you said YOU are a poet. I guess I have some more growing to do because if I dont feel it from true life then I can't write about it. I guess maybe I am what you might call a begining poet or wanna be.LOL.....I do my best though. Wonderful write sir....enjoy your talent in all facets you write in. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
And that, Mr. Mack, bespeaks true artistry, when all can relate, and all buy every word...you've done it...I'm still watchin' and takin' notes...smiles and hugs anyway...even if you are not in need! |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
you been reading my diary again Michael? |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Beautiful, enthralling, and truly emotionaly poetry as usual. Please keep up the wonderful work so that I may keep up my addiction to your words. Dream well! Good night!  |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Are you trying to say that the "Give and Give" theory doesn't always work??? So maybe we should call it "Give and Given".. or "Give and Gave"... This is a nice piece of work, Deer... and unfortunately too often true... |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Balladeer...you are indeed a master. This poem takes the reader on a journey of love and loss...thanks for the ride. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
This poem unfortunately strikes a chord with me, and thus that poem I wrote "I've Given All I Had to Give". WE must think alike in some ways. I was captivate by your telling my life, and you always write it so well. Liz |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
'Deer Its true you give until it hurts, I've been on the receiving end. Your ripostes and clever words, Hurt me through and through, my friend. Henceforth, you won't give any more, From now on I'm going to fight. I'm gonna crawl across the floor, And give your leg a bite! grrrrrufffffffff, grrruffffff heh heh - great poem, 'Deer. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Aaahhh Balladeer, a wonderful treat for these tired eyes this evening. You've portrayed these emotions beautifully. There's nothing like the tiredness that follows years of giving and so little receiving. Really well done Michael! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Balladeer, The giving and the taking and the timing of this one really hit home, a truely heartfelt read. |
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nona Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 139Fla |
Wow Balladeer you inspired me...as usual.. Attempted to write about something I have never felt but thought I understood.. See my poem titled Illusions........nona |
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Corazon Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 1209 |
wow, seems I need to write a bit of this on my heart...great writing bal....sighs and smiles |
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Oklahoma Rose Senior Member
since 2008-02-28
Posts 1586Oklahoma USA |
Balladeer, this poem really hits home with me. I am a "Giver". So, I know how it feels to give, but never recieve. And sometimes, it hurts. It seems to me, that there are alot of takers, but very few givers. Here, my friend, I have a great Big Hug for you.  And, if you need more, I have plenty more where that one came from. |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
And you give us so much. Thank you. Because of you, I am actually researching submitting poems for publication. Because of you, I find myself becoming more confident and reaching out more. Not just for better form, but for deeper content. You have changed my poetic life. You have given me a year now and have worked with me and encouraged me. I couldn't get that from anywhere or anyone. You have given me so much and I will always be thankful - and, yes, I know ... I am behind one assignment. I am working on that Rondel (grins) - am checking the meter again today. Thank you, Balladeer man.  Alison |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Rose, I have no doubt you are a giver. It shows in everything you do. Alison, you bring tears to an old man's eyes. If the workshop does nothing else than to provide what has made a difference for you, it will have been a wonderful success. I look forward to reading your first book! |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
How about a poem in a publication? I am thinking I have far more to learn before trying to jump into a book. So, you ain't off the teaching hook, you know. Love you, A |
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Alison
since 2008-01-27
Posts 9318Lumpy oatmeal makes me crazy! |
So good. Kind of makes me sit back and just think about how much I take. Alison |
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