Open Poetry #9 |
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Rebirth |
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Jenova Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 16germany |
*** Out of the dark skies Under a bloody moon The raven falls With broken wings Striken by lightning Burning Screaming in pain Welcomed by death's cold embrace But with the sun's first rays Gently touching the shattered creature Incinerating the torn feathers A phoenix is born Proudly spreading his flaring wings Rising again In silence And beauty *** |
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© Copyright 2000 Nathalie Martin - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jenova Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 16germany |
Well, hi all! I just joined and started to read some poems... seems to be a great site! *laughs happily* I'm going to post one of mine now... I wrote this thinking of rejected love... how you're hurt and think you'll never live joyfully again... but then, after some time, manage to get over it... and I love this phoenix-thing, I always did. *smiles* Um... I don't know how this poem sounds to English readers... I'm not English and therefore maybe use words that don't really fit... ah, forgive me... and I'm always happy about constructive criticism! =) Nuff said... |
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poutprincess Senior Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 735Perth, Western Australia, Australia |
i think you did a wonderful job! a very good first post! welcome to passions..looking foward to more of your poetry! |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
The raven falls With broken wings .. .. Rising again In silence And beauty ------- Jenova, you have expressed yourself beautifully here... and an excellent impression is created upon this reader's mind... ![]() ![]() and hope you have a nice time here... regards, sudhir |
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Jenova Junior Member
since 2000-08-02
Posts 16germany |
Wow, thank you... I didn't expect comments at all (because the "admins" keep telling you this all the time and that you shouldn't be disappointed...) - and then such lovely ones... made me really happy... thx again *smiles* |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions Jenova! What a beautiful poem to mark your first post! You need not worry about any translation Jenova, this comes across just lovely! Hope to read more! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Ahhh, and Pheonix rises from the ashes. Welcome to Passions, Jenova! Corinne |
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