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Open Poetry #9
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Dark's Disguise
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Dark's Disguise |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Dark's DisguiseRelease me from this fleshly hull allow my heart's explode There is no crevice deep enough to cave my mind's corrode Black bitterness I cannot hide in sear of shame's embrace Would only that this night could burn these scars from off my face In dark's disguise I wrap this rage around my fragile form Familiar steps through granite grave each footfall stirs a storm And deeper still within the pit of promises betrayed I crawl toward my severed soul and don my masquerade |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Wow, Claire~ Dark indeed ... and shrouded in mysterious musing ... 'And deeper still within the pit of promises betrayed I crawl toward my severed soul and don my masquerade' Very deeply delved. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Claire, Your imagery was excellent, your writing wonderful and the poem actually painful to read. Take care, dear friend. Michael Proust- "Love is space and time measured by the heart" |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Like the rhythm of your poem..it flows well  |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
This is a very powerful piece written with the touch that only you, Claire, can add! I really enjoyed this!!< !signature--> Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! [This message has been edited by Sunny1 (edited 09-02-2000).] |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Very heavy, Claire, shows your wonderful versatility,,,,, |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Marge, I thank you for the mysterious Wow Michael, I know this one was a bit on the painful side, but I also know that you understand the why of it, and I thank you for such steady encouragement, my friend. Victoria, thank you so much for your kind words, and a very warm Welcome to you! Sunny, I thank you sincerely for taking time to let me know that you read and enjoyed this piece. Balladeer, thanks to you for the approving nod. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Wow Claire, a very intense and excellently written poem. "I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
In this contemporary society - where many have become secular humanists - shame is a hard feeling to find - only those of us raised by responsible parents - can know the feeling when we trangress - i could be wrong - but that is how I've interpreted it - I hope if it is real - you find the strength to seek forgiveness and especially forgive yourself - but real or no - the poem is most beautifully written |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is very intense, Claire - "...each footfall stirs a storm..." - I like it a lot... |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
W O W Claire, This is fabulous writing, awesome ... My regards, sudhir |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
The intensity of the emotions behind this piece are powerful Claire ... beautifully written, with an ache that seeps from deep within these lines. Very well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
This is very dark for you Claire. . . with a pain that can only come from knowing. . . Hauntingly beautiful. . . -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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ma miller Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806 |
hope you're keeping track of all these, Claire ... your range must take you where i've never been ... thanks. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Brian, thank you. Nice to "see" you! Bill, yes, the presence of "healthy shame" tells us that we have a conscience, don't you think? I'm afraid this piece goes a little deeper than that, but I believe we all can express, from time to time, the thoughts that linger on our darker side. Thank you for letting me know that you read and enjoyed this piece. Nan, thank you, I'm glad you liked that line. Sudhir, thank you for the WOW this morning...a nice way to wake up! Kit, thanks for reading this piece so closely...I do appreciate it so much. Sven, thank you, my friend. Unfortunately, perhaps you are right. M.A. Thanks. Are you trying to say that I'm "out there"?? ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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American Princess Junior Member
since 2000-08-21
Posts 49USA |
Claire, This was hard to read for me. It was flawlessly written and up to your usual excellent standards but so painful... American Princess It's only me, thinking out loud... |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
zwischen Freud und Leid ist die Brucke nicht weit. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
American Princess, I know it's a bit darker than what I normally share here, but I thank you for still reading it and letting me know what you thought. Mike, Sie haben gemeinsam benutzt Worte über verständnisvoll und behagen und Ich bin dankbar. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
You certainly dup deep into expression on this one. It was very deep, and I agreed with Wilfred, some feelings are hard to express. I'm impressed. Kathleen |
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