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Open Poetry #9
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LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion

0 posted 2000-09-01 01:23 PM


Australia is the birthplace of many different and unusual species,
And of the many critters down under, it remains my thesis,
While wallabies, kangaroos, duckbills, are a few that I can recall,
The horrible Balladeeris Offalus is the strangest of them all.

Balladeeris lives in the outback, and, therefore, he’s hard to find,
He’s something like a dingo; he’ll eat whatever comes to mind.
But it isn’t for the things he eats that makes him feared by man,
It’s for the way the wind is blowing, and where it is you stand.

A Balladeeris spoor is easy to spot when you’re walkabout,
It consists of withered vegetation, there can be no doubt.
For the Balladeeris uses his metabolism to clearly mark his range,
With a continuous trail of his only byproduct, Offalus methane.

The range of the Balladeeris is not defined like for other beasts,
It depends on the prevailing winds, which blow from west to east.
And that explains his sickly physique, consisting of bones and skin,
For he must always keep on the run lest his spoor catch up with him.

Now, I know there are those among you who think I am making all this up.  I'm pretty sure of my sources, but I may have misquoted a little.

© Copyright 2000 Michael Waterman - All Rights Reserved
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
1 posted 2000-09-01 01:38 PM


You know I think I saw a special on this animal on the Discovery channel! Cute!  
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-09-01 01:49 PM


OMG! ROTFLMAO
Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
3 posted 2000-09-01 02:52 PM


HRRMPHH!! The Tasmanian Devil is the nice one!

I just HATE it when someone comes up with an idea that I wish wuz mine and then does it so well. Ok, aborigine boy, I give you stars on this one....you are sick and twisted and all the good things I admire in an individual...ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
4 posted 2000-09-01 04:20 PM


Joining in the ROFLMAO and cancelling my trip to the outback.
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
5 posted 2000-09-01 05:05 PM


Long John
This is a must keep. ROTFLMAO.
I LOVED this one!!!

Now you know why it's called the outback.  

Kethry


"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia
6 posted 2000-09-01 05:09 PM


that wasn't the discovery channel PDV -- he was on COPS????  

watch out LJ.... he might bite and leave you with a pegleg...

BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919
New York, USA
7 posted 2000-09-01 06:05 PM


LngJhn, Now I am not at all sure, but the other night while out on a snipe hunt I think I may have spotted one of these... I'm not positive, but...... Loved this!  Bonnie
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
8 posted 2000-09-01 06:56 PM


ROFLMAO......way, way, outback I think.  

"The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest"
~ My Angel.

LngJhnAg
Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508
Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion
9 posted 2000-09-02 12:44 PM


Hey, everybody.  Thanks for the encouragement!  I was afraid that everybody would think this poem was ill-conceived, poorly written, and in bad taste.  What's that???  *hmmpphhhh... bunch of old fuddy duddies*.
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
10 posted 2000-09-02 10:49 AM


Ah yes...the legend continues! And so well done I might add. Way to go LJA....you're still as clever as ever....how yall are? Hope to be back soon to help you in this endeavor on the old bug man
Dee
Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia
11 posted 2000-09-03 02:54 AM


Don't laugh too hard I think my sister married one of them!!
Thanks for the laugh LongJohn.
Dee

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2000-09-03 03:25 AM


LongJohn~

Is this a con ?
Does this creature REALLY exist ?
I missed both the Discovery Channel and COPS !

Oh ... my ... it sounds suspiciously like
someone .. er something we all know.
Is this an endangered species ?
I hope so !

You just send me into fits of laughter !
~*Marge*~





~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



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