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Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

0 posted 2000-08-31 02:19 PM

Formerly Alive

A man beside me
smiled today.
My return,
a delayed nod, at best.
When did I lose
my need to know
to feel to touch others?
The faces see what they will
but I know
these eyes,
formerly alive,
glistening from within
are merely
make believe.

© Copyright 2000 Meadowmuse - All Rights Reserved
Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637
1 posted 2000-08-31 02:31 PM

Hi Meadowmuse,

I have been here before, you speak of this dismay so very well though, I loved this thank you.

Love, Cerenity

"God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist.
We have to be reminded that He exist!"

(Writer Unknown)

ma miller
Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 806

2 posted 2000-08-31 02:31 PM

hi Claire ... a beautiful and thought provoking free form verse ... always a pleasure to read a pro's work ...
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

3 posted 2000-08-31 04:45 PM

claire---now this is "inside looking out"---and if this is a personal view--I do have an Rx for cute little strappy black dress and a night out with serenity...grins...methinks it would be much fun!

----as always, your faithful fan...

brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
4 posted 2000-08-31 04:57 PM

Claire, concise yet those few words speak volumes. Alone in a large crowd, such a trange feeling. excellent piece.

"I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy

Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

5 posted 2000-08-31 05:25 PM

Cerenity, my thanks to you this afternoon. I'm sorry to know you have experienced something of this nature, but am glad to "hear" you speak of it in past tense. Thanks for letting me know you can relate.

M. A., Hi, thank you for reading. Your encouragement is most appreciated, my friend. (Did you see my note about our poetic role reversal?)     

serenity, as a matter of fact, I just bought a little black dress and black heels but haven't had the occasion to enjoy them yet ... Give me time for a relaxing bath and manicure, and you're on!    

Brian, thank you for such a thoughtful answer, and for reading this piece so closely.

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
6 posted 2000-08-31 05:30 PM

Claire I feel like this all the time.
Must be my lack of trust.
I always questions the intentions of they really like me or are they using me...perhaps not the feelings you are writing about but your poem brought these thoughts to my mind...James

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Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953
By the sea
7 posted 2000-08-31 08:30 PM


I know just where you're coming from with this one.  You've done a very good job of describing just how it is we sometimes view others from our "own place."  You know what I mean...take care, dear friend.


"Love is space and time measured by the heart"

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Member Laureate
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA
8 posted 2000-08-31 09:23 PM

       we wonder sometimes when we lose the ability to trust. . . if only we could do it so poetically. . .

Excellent piece my friend. . .


That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium
9 posted 2000-09-01 04:19 AM

you have penned what I just wanted to ... right this morning... I have been there at the receiving end ... so many times have I smiled and received nothing in return, but then what is the value or meaning of a smile that expects a smile to return?

Thank you for writing this ...

When did I lose
my need to know
to feel to touch others?

and this happened this morning too.. cold stares meeting my happy face leaving me pondering if I was stinking or just had grown horns on my head   maybe I should look so deeply into things of daily life... just maybe...


[This message has been edited by Sudhir Iyer (edited 09-01-2000).]

Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779
Louisville, Mississippi, USA
10 posted 2000-09-01 05:46 AM

     My dear, I seem to have been going through the same thing for the last couple of weeks.  I know exactly what you mean in this poem.  Sometimes, though, it is hard for me to keep up the make-believe.  Thank you -- I loved this one.

Love Ya!

~you reached inside, you touched my heart,
and I am all the better for it~
Terry A. Woodson, Jr.

Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

11 posted 2000-09-01 07:08 AM

James, the feelings you describe...yes, I have had similar feelings of mistrust or questionable trust. I appreciate, always, knowing what kinds of feelings are evoked by something I have written. Thank you for sharing yours with me.

Michael, yes, I do know what you mean, my friend, and I thank you.

Sven, thank you for reading this one. Yes, so often trust is eroded away over time, and in a moment's flicker, we come to the sad realization that we have become emotionally closed, in some ways. Hopefully, though, the realization brings about a change, as awareness so often does.

Sudhir, I wrote this piece primarily as an observation. A man smiled at me, and I did smile back, but realized at that moment, that I was so involved in my own thoughts, that I didn't recognize his friendliness with the openness that I once would have. In those few moments, I began thinking about how I arrived at that point, and the events that have contributed to my being there. It is through these moments of self awareness, I think, that one is able to  begin to put together ideas for change. There was a time when I was the person smiling first, always. I hope and pray to find her again.
   I hope that my little poem here does not serve to promote to you the idea that people are "closed" and immune to your smile and cheerful disposition. Personally, I would love to have you share a smile with me...I don't know how anyone could not feel blessed by receiving a heartfelt smile from you, my friend. But the reality remains that so often we go about our day wrapped tightly in our own thoughts and immune to the warmth of others. This small poem is simply an observation and reflection of a moment of awareness.
   Please forgive my verbosity here, but I wanted to explain, and also to tell you that you deserve to have every day full of smiles, my friend. Thank you, sincerely, Sudhir.

Terry, the make~believe becomes almost a part of who we are, as we continually pretend that things are alright, when in our hearts, we know they are not. It's so difficult, though, to keep our hearts  open when so many events have battered them shut. Thank you so much for letting me know your thoughts upon reading this piece, Terry. Take care,

~ Claire

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau

Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564
North Carolina
12 posted 2000-09-01 07:18 AM

"these eyes,
formerly alive,
glistening from within
are merely
make believe. "

Oh...this is mournful. Almost as if the writer is trying to get out again, but can't bring herself to do it. I really hate having to pretend sometimes that there's nothing is grand...ladadee.  
  But, most of the time it, what I am TRYING to say here is that your words are still beautiful no matter what you're writing...

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.

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