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Open Poetry #9
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Complete Disarray
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Complete Disarray |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores 
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Complete Disarray ~*Marge Tindal*~ Dream restlessly taunts my night Dream restlessly taunts my night With every turn I make With every turn I make Restlessly every turn I make Taunts my night with dream Finally when morning sun approaches Finally when morning sun approaches I am faced with unkempt bed I am faced with unkempt bed Morning sun approaches When finally with unkempt bed I am faced Morning do not catch me Morning do not catch me In such disarray of my mind In such disarray of my mind Morning do not catch my mind In such disarray of me With every dream turn I make Restlessly night taunts me Sun of morning finally approaches my bed When I am unkempt in my mind Do not catch me Faced with my disarray *The form is a Paradelle ... a little boring for me, but a challenge from a friend.  My thanks to Nan for previewing it. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marge Tindal - All Rights Reserved | |||
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Well Marge my dear I find this very interesting. Very interesting indeed, but then again you always amaze me. Hugs, Juls |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I've spent many nights like this...whatever the challenge was Marge I've no doubt you met and exceeded it for a stunning poem is alive because of it. Hugs to you |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Dear Mom, Am homesick...want so badly to go home...send lawyers, guns and money...lol love ya much. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Challange well met and one form I've yet to attempt to tackle...well done |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
lovely work, Marge, my friend... but then when is it not??? regards, sudhir |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
I don't believe I have read this form before. Very enlightening. I like the subject, so very well depicted here. catalinamoon [This message has been edited by catalinamoon (edited 08-30-2000).] |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Marge-you bored? I dont believe it; not for one second. You live each minute of your life and I know you lived and loved this as well....maybe I could believe mundane but NOT BORED.lol......excellent write my friend. |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
Complete Disarray is exactly how I have felt the last couple months trying to run two businesses. It's kept me away form Passions far too long. Must get back to writing poetry and hanging out with my poetic friends. Marge, enjoyed your poem. Danny A life isn't significant except for its impact on other lives. |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Juliet~ Thank you for your refreshing comments. ButterfliesDC~ I appreciate your reply. Just a challenge from a friend that lost ANOTHER bet ! Tee-Hee-Hee ! Serenity~ Honey, you can ALWAYS come home. Love you. Hoot~ Thank you, my friend. Sudhir~ My friend - sigh ! CatalinaMoon~ Thank you. It is simple enough, but I'm a little 'structure' challenged ! MarkB~ No ! No ! Not ME ! Just the form of the Paradelle I found a little stifling ... Me bored ? You KNOW better!  Danny~ So very good to see your smiling self here !  Glad to have you 'hang' with us. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Marge--I really liked this...so unusual and well done...I like it when you are in disarray. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Marge, what a good poem, very interesting, and haven't we all had nights like that! Well done, but then that what makes you such a good poet, because you can write what we all feel!  |
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sonjes Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564North Carolina |
I, too have never seen this form...quite a different view of poetry...but very neat how it all comes together in the end...Very well done to such a challenging form. Don't care what people say Just follow your own way Don't give up and use the chance To return to innocence. -Enigma |
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Chanson Senior Member
since 2000-08-19
Posts 1559Up Creek w/Out Paddle |
Thanks for introducing a new form, one I was not aware of. I'll have to give it a try. Your poem shines, Marge ...chanson~"Music, when soft voices die, Vibrates in the memory..." P.B. Shelley |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Thanks, my friend. Marsha~ I greatly appreciate your compliment. Sonjes~ I'm glad you found it 'different' ... it is that ! ! Chanson~ Please do give it a try. Let me know what you come up with. Thanks for the read. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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TerryW Senior Member
since 2000-03-23
Posts 779Louisville, Mississippi, USA |
Marge~ I love it! Sorry I was away for so long, but I am happy to say that this is the first thing I read since getting back, and it is an incredible way to "return home"!!!!! Love Ya~ ~you reached inside, you touched my heart, and I am all the better for it~ Terry A. Woodson, Jr. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Marge it's a paragonic, paradigm of a paradelle, and the emotion was spot on. Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
TerryW~ Just go ahead and MAKE MY DAY ! So glad to see you back, my friend. Love ya' too ! Kethry~ Glad you enjoyed my little example. Give it a try ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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