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Open Poetry #9
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AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE

0 posted 2000-08-29 12:42 PM


       Hopeless

A thousand words all left behind
With questions lasting in my mind
And same dreams invade a heart
Though motionless still havoc rules
So hopeless still hoping for true

Under one sky still so far away
The past unwinds itself today
Someone’s fault someone’s to face
Now meaningless still so much pain
Hopeless...there's hope to gain

When tomorrow comes you’ll wonder
You threw away a hope, a try
Then close your eyes and you may see
The very picture you gave me
So hopeless even...hope could die



If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise?
Avanti Rao



© Copyright 2000 AVANTI - All Rights Reserved
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
1 posted 2000-08-29 01:41 AM


Sometimes it seems that no matter what we have to offer and are willing to do....it is just never enough.  Wonderful read and very well formatted with tremendous flow.


Sunnyone
Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334
Staffordshire, England
2 posted 2000-08-29 02:17 AM


AVANTI....

        This was wonderful, and powerful!!


Today is a gift....
That is why they call it
'the Present'!



Meadowmuse
Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263

3 posted 2000-08-29 08:17 AM


"A thousand words all left behind
With questions lasting in my mind"

Avanti, what a sad, poetic commentary, this. Lovely writing, to be sure.

~ Claire


Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau


sonjes
Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564
North Carolina
4 posted 2000-08-30 08:04 AM


How do I keep missing these good poems?  
  
  I too enjoyed your flow in this poem, AVANTI...well-written.

Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
-Enigma


AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
5 posted 2000-08-31 12:38 PM


Thankyou mark...
It makes to happy that you noticed the formatting...
Thank you sunny1..> i was looking for powerful
Thanx claire...for reading me I love your signature!
And sonjes...
I'm on cloud #9 with that remark


If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise?
Avanti Rao



ladysixstring
Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374

6 posted 2000-08-31 01:01 PM


Extremely powerful line... "So hopeless even...hope could die"  Enjoyed this!!

-jaimie

Website: www.ladysixstring.com

Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England
7 posted 2000-08-31 05:42 PM


This is a very well written poem, such depth, such insight! Truly awesome, what can I say but bravo!  
brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
8 posted 2000-08-31 06:23 PM


AVANTI, I can well relate but please don't lose hope as your signature says "but what if just this one I rise?" well written piece

"I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
9 posted 2000-09-01 12:24 PM


thanx brian...and no! I have not lost hope
ai've kept my signature in mind
glad to enjoyed it ladysixstring
thanx marsha...you are very kind.
see you'll around


If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise?
Avanti Rao



Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733
Michigan
10 posted 2000-09-01 05:30 PM


"Hopeless" A feeling all of us have dipped into...that makes the power and the raw ache in this piece even more powerful...to reach out to many and touch them with understanding...this is a great piece~ Bravo!

[This message has been edited by Butterflies_dont_cry (edited 09-01-2000).]

rosepetals25
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Elite
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076
PA
11 posted 2000-09-01 05:47 PM


AVANTI,
  
    Wow.. so powerful and moving. "...So hopeless even...hope could die.."  This line is amazing   Well done.

                    rp25



AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
12 posted 2000-09-01 11:36 PM


Thanks B_d_c and rp25 for reading me
I appreaciate your kind words...
I am  

If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise?
Avanti Rao



Diane Yvonne
Junior Member
since 2000-08-22
Posts 36
Camdenton,Mo. USA
13 posted 2000-09-02 12:04 PM


Avanti, This is showing deep feelings, Which
I can relate to so very well.
you have 2 lines that really hit home for me.

A thousand words left behind with questions
lasting in my mind.

Close your eyes, you may see, the very picture you gave me.
So hopeless even hope could die.

Wonderful Writing.

Love and Light
Diane

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

14 posted 2000-09-02 01:32 AM


hi Avanti, I sneak thru here to take a peek at this one that seemed to slip me by...

I must compliment you on the expression contained in your poem and the flow of rhyme...

Clawed at my heart...

Great read N thank you for sharing
Coco  


LM
Senior Member
since 2000-08-03
Posts 585

15 posted 2000-09-02 08:16 AM


Wow! What a line... "so hopeless even hope can...die"
So powerful and great! But you know hope is the last to die...  

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
16 posted 2000-09-02 11:52 PM


thanx all of you for reading...
it means a lot

If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise?
Avanti Rao



Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
17 posted 2000-09-03 12:04 PM


"So hopeless even...hope could die"

What an exquisite ending line to this wonderful poem Avanti! Powerful writing here, well done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
18 posted 2000-09-03 12:12 PM


thanx for reading me kit

If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise?
Avanti Rao



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