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Open Poetry #9
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Who Put the Octopus in my Calamari?
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Who Put the Octopus in my Calamari? |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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Who Put the Octopus in My Calamari ? Who went and put the octopus into my calamari? Oh, waiter! Please exchange this, my dear man, and I am sorry I didn’t want squid or octopus, I ordered calamari It seems to me that someone’s out to wreck my birthday party Who put those slimy little snails into the escargot ? Some prankster spoiled this fine cuisine, which cost a lot of dough Repugnant wormy slimy slugs aren’t fit for my consumption And I am just much too refined for instigator’s gumption I paid a fortune for the wine, a vintage I was told But waiter, look! This bottle’s over thirty-five years old !! Don’t try to fool a connoisseur, I’m really on to you ! I said, dear fellow, take this back and bring me something NEW I don’t mean to appear contrite, I don’t mean to be pushy But someone in the kitchen just forgot to cook the sushi And I was told that these are fish eggs in the caviar I think this birthday caper, pals, has gone a little far Some jokester got the bright idea to sabotage my party And slipped a little octopus into my calamari ! Elizabeth Santos 5/5/00 |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Christopher
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-02
Posts 8296Purgatorial Incarceration |
ROFL! Cute, clever and original! Well done lady! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is too cute! I once saw a friend from out of state send back a bowl of gumbo because "it had a 'foot' in it"---(a crab claw) LOL and thanks for bringing back that memory. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
FANTASTIC WRITING .... also noticed the date below May 5, 2000... 050500, now did you write this at 0505 hours by any chance...  Well, whatever time you chose to write this, it is just PERFECT... regards, sudhir |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
LMAO...uh huh sounds just like something I would do...although I love calimari |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Elizabeth~ Pretty phunny stuph !  You're a corker this morning ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
ROFL! Great Elizabeth ... what a wonderful morning laugh! I relate waaay too much to this. A business associate I travel with forces me to try all sorts of "inedibles" ... uggghhh ... give me steak and potatoes any day, along with a beer and I'm happy! Wonderful poem!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Who put all that humor into a birthday poem? rotflmao Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
ROTFLMAO - LOVE it! Where has it been hiding! Oh yes, probably under some rocked lobster... |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
"Who put the octupus in my calamari!" This is a direct quote from my son, who ordered calamari at a rehearsal dinner , and when he got his plate, loudly posed this question to the waiter. That was the inspiration for this poem, which I came across while organizing my files. Thank you all very much for your kind responses to a silly poem, but I'm sure we'll get a few more stories out of it. Thanks Liz |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
I love your wriitng,,,I really need to read more of it...this sort of reminded me of living in Guam near the phillipines.....You can never get served exactly what you ask for there...you learn not to bother with it anymore and eat what they serve....very cute definitely made me laugh out loud....and now that I have wrote a book to you I am through....Take care and keep 'em coming... < !signature-->Julie [This message has been edited by JulieAnn (edited 08-28-2000).] |
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lb New Member
since 2000-08-27
Posts 7California |
HA! This reminds me of the scene from "The Jerk" where Steve Martin tells the waiter to take back the snails they tried to serve his wife. How dare them! Then he demands they bring those little triangles of toast with melted cheese. It's good to start the day off with this kind of humor! Thanks for posting. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Liz, my dear, sweet, wonderful poet, this is humor and writing at its finest...you're the greatest! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Julie Ann Thanks for the input. I don't know if I could ever get used to those customs! Thanks for your comments Ib The first and only time I ate escargot, I hah had a few drinks and thought I was eating okra, til someone at the table asked, "how were the snails?" I missed that Steve Martin movie , will have to look it up Balladeer, WEll, if you say so. But this was one of those poems filed away in my "OTHERS" folder, which means, poems I would never post Thank you, my friend Liz |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
ROFL  Delightful one, Elizabeth! Denise |
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mariee66 Senior Member
since 2000-01-30
Posts 596Recess, OfYourMind |
LOl! This is wonderful writing! In the area I live (very rural), I could see a neighbor stating trickery, as your poem does, on such dishes Marie~ |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
So funny! It reminded me of a story I heard: A man and his wife went to a restaurant, and when the waitress came to take their order, the wife ordered a chicken sandwich. When the food arrived, however, she was given ham and eggs on toast. She pointed this out to the waitress and showed the waitress the picture on the menu, and the waitress said, "Oh our food never turns out like the picture!" A very cute poem, Elizabeth, and I like the quote from your son too. Elizabeth |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Thanks Denise and Marie. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem. Elizabeth, thanks for the little story, and happy eating! Liz |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
THIS IS JUST TOOOO WONDERFUL i love this poem..its tooo humourous..and you make it look so easy!!! great skill indeed, i enjoyed this VERY much ."my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- rlt |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
Thanks for the laugh, Elizabeth. I'm a cook and have been asked some odd questions like in you very funny poem. Dee |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, Agree with Balladeer, enjoyed the humor. Love Sy |
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niky tamayo Junior Member
since 2000-08-22
Posts 17 |
hahaha!!! this is SO true to life! i've heard somthing like this before... and i'm trying to figure out where... |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
Ahhh, wonderful, Elizabeth! Bring on the burgers and catsup - but don't be surprised when there are fillers in that mystery meat! Great poem, loved the line about the repugnant slugs!!! Corinne |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Hi Elizabeth, Well, I must come clean and confess, it was I that did it. Yes indeedy, it was I!!!!!!!!!! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
JRn4eva, Glad you enjoyed the read, thank you Dee, Ah, this poem was written fot YOU! The COOK! Thanks for the comments Sy,This one came from the "Others" file. I'm glad you enjoyed it Niky, Maybe you heard it in that Steve Martin movie I missed. Thanks for the response Corrine, Thank you, hope you got a few laughs. Liz |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Bill, I knew it all along, you old prankster, you. The snails yes, but only you would have thought of the octopus. Very clever, now you eat every bit of it! I'm sure after a glass of wine, it would all look good to me. Thanks, dear Liz |
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allan Senior Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 620On the road |
fantastic. hat's off. just TOOOO good! |
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