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Open Poetry #9
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A Child's First Door Closes
| Open Poetry #9 |
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A Child's First Door Closes |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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A Child's first Door Closes I can hear the rustle of fabric as the moon descends on the balcony and the city turns on its shine and her lashes feather a shadow across her cheek I can see her although I cannot see her she is engraved in my road she is my landmark and he who clears his throat now is the arrow that points towards future towards my becoming A sigh whispers in my window and the fragrance of jasmine blossoming up the lattice drifts across my wondering She is too young to understand I hear the sound disturbs the softness and the room closes in teddy bears are looking down no comfort there My house is crumbling and my heart is a tearing at the flannel of my safety and I cannot shut out the sound of the door closing [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 08-27-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
and this is why we have night lights of the smiles of angels taking care of the ones we love. This is truely sad my friend. Lovely verse. . [This message has been edited by Mark Bohannan (edited 08-27-2000).] |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Oh, Martie~ Is it any wonder I had you on my mind all day ? Great big hugs for this sad but lovely penning. Love ya', Sis ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Sad, beautiful and eloquent! beautifully expressed Martie, as always  |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
It will forever be a paradox to me how you can write something so sad and it still is exquisitely lovely. {{{{{{{{{{hugs Martie}}}}}}}}} |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
MArtie, this one touches deep inside, beautiful and powerful, excellent read Martie. "I concede relationships have left me weak Won't be here so I don't care Look for something worthy to replace my guilt" Mansun legacy |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I can hear the rustle of fabric as the moon descends on the balcony and the city turns on its shine and her lashes feather a shadow across her cheek I can see her although I cannot see her she is engraved in my road she is my landmark and he who clears his throat now is the arrow that points towards future towards my becoming ======================= She is too young to understand I hear the sound disturbs the softness and the room closes in teddy bears are looking down no comfort there My house is crumbling and my heart is a tearing at the flannel of my safety and I cannot shut out the sound of the door closing ===================== you know, that I know,... for me..it is quiet comfort... I love you lady poet you take care for me while Im gone ...Okay  me There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
You have penned of this child before my friend. May the angels take her in their wings. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very touching, Martie, full of your love and longing for her. HUGS Denise |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Oh Martie ... such heartfelt and genuine emotions flow through your delicate and loving pen. May angel's wings brush softly against your shoulder, to comfort you on these sorrowful days ... Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
There are many ways to read and understand...and a I didn't realize until I read all your sweet replies, that this poem has been understood in ways that were not in my original meaning...but that is fine...how it should be, really. Poetry is more than just the poets heart, it is the readers heart as well...and I thank you for all of yours. |
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lb New Member
since 2000-08-27
Posts 7California |
It seems many responses to this poem indicate that the child has deceased? I read it and felt it was of a child "leaving the nest". The sadness of a mother whose young daughter is leaving home. But rereading could have different meanings. A nice poem with much feeling. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
This is so sad...either way you read it. |
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