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Open Poetry #9
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Something Mythical in Her Eyes
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Something Mythical in Her Eyes |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia 
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She looked at me lipstuck smile blushing stop; I declared the Beauty of her the forty seventh time in one night crystal blue eyes blinking bashful something mythical in her eyes something something luring to a kiss something about her pure and clean and something seductive lean raw and powerful loving everything about her and yet noticing those things little ones that I knew enough to know one day I might find irritating and the most obvious one of all that the myth in her eyes was me |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
This is great...loved the ending...so true...so many times. jwesley |
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angelswing Senior Member
since 2000-02-10
Posts 705United Kingdom |
I can not find words to describe how much i liked this poem . It is as if it came straight from my heart ( are you telapathic ? ) I know how that situation feels so much . I loved it . L.of.L. Tom . Don't try, do or do not, there is no try . - Master Yoda - |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Reb, when one word draws you to the next word, then the next line...and you hate to see the finish, all I can say is WELL DONE! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Y'know...just change the pronouns and...well, let's just say I read and as I read it just got better, and then at the end---YES!!! EXACTLY!!! A Rebel Yell for you today my friend! |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thanks to all and with this post... I bid you all... a happy weekend... adieu... |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
And the eye's have it! BRAVO! "and the most obvious one of all that the myth in her eyes was me" haunting lines here...yes, it think it's easy to get caught up like that, i think, and fall into someone's eyes and before you know what's happened... as always, fine writing, winged one! |
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Local Rebel Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-21
Posts 5767Southern Abstentia |
Thanks Doreen.... I think I was a freshman in high school when my Lit teacher read something I wrote and praised it as she proceeded to interpret it in a way completely different from what I had written followed by the question "how did someone so young get so wise?" of course I didn't bother to correct her.. lol... but that was the lesson that taught me good writing leaves enough space for the reader to reflect on their own experience....seeing that you did that... I'm satisfied I left ample space here... thanks for the read and the compliment... glad you could see yourself in this one.  |
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JulieAnn Senior Member
since 2000-06-12
Posts 754Earth 3rd Rock from the sun!! |
I had to read this twice...I think I read it too fast the first time...after reading it slower the second time it made sense....it is a very good poem....I know this feeling...it is those little things....great writing....  Julie :) |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Oh geez... i got it wrong!... dammit!  well, i read it again and this time i think i got it right of course, knowing my luck, i might have got it wrong again .... hope not! at least i don't stop trying  ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Very aptly put, mythster NightHawke. |
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