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Open Poetry #9
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Silkdragon
Member
since 2000-06-24
Posts 65


0 posted 2000-08-24 11:50 PM


An angel, he was.
Pure and exalted
Lifted beyond the heights of mere mortals.

Untouched and untouchable,
Great in their sight,
He was the symbol of everything they wished they could be.
The hand of true justice was wrought with his sword,
A light to the darkness
Of a cold, weary world.

Angel, bright angel, who could have wished for anything more?

To be what he was,
Unknown and unreachable,
The substance of fantasies and dreams of the young.

But who knew who he was?
The man trapped within the torturous prison of a world's blind desires?
A mask of cold indifference
Covered a pain too deep for words,
And a torment too bitter too be born alone
In his broken, weeping soul.

Angel, lonely angel, surely you're strong enough to remain on your own?

He became what he is,
Unloved and unloving,
A wretched, twisting phantom of the man he used to be.

His heart in blind darkness,
Our angel has fallen,
The screaming of his soul attended by none.
Spirit shattered, he moves
Toward the end of the world
A soul with no warmth will bear nothing but rage.

Angel, dark angel, surely there was nothing that we could have done?


© Copyright 2000 Erin - All Rights Reserved
JnR4eva
Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377
Bronx, NY
1 posted 2000-08-25 12:10 PM


cool  
i think i would call this a tragic poem...we have our hero, whose unloving heart leads to a downfall.nicley done silkdragon..i liked a lot  


"my love is my motivation
my love is my inspiration
perception of this poem
is your interpretation"
-- me



Dusk Treader
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-06-18
Posts 1187
St. Paul, MN
2 posted 2000-08-25 12:16 PM


I liked this poem much, Erin. I can't say much for style or flow, as I'm now poet, but I like the words you used.. especially loved that last line, great close..Much enjoyed!

Abrahm Simons

"Keep on dreamin' boy 'cause when you stop dreaming it's time to die" - Blind Melon

Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850
In the space between moments
3 posted 2000-08-25 12:43 PM


Ah, this has such a ring of truth Erin...all to often those angels fall while we stand back and do nothing.  Very powerful words and I liked the freeverse, it flowed well!  Keep it up!  

*Krista Knutson*

"You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back."
-Barbara DeAngelis

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