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Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

0 posted 2000-08-23 04:04 PM

Notes
      risen

Lightly tongued
truths hop bars
and step dance tabs

hover stop

pause
      for
          breath

and
        again

Smooth resume
of velvet metronome’d
rhythm
       sway
fro from to
to lilts and return

Milky sweet
         re-memory’d
melodies take
Harmony
         there
                   and there

Cascading notes
inside the
song

    for open’d
ears to feel again

Rest

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

1 posted 2000-08-23 04:12 PM

Harmonious piece of writing...

Well done, Satiate...
________________
rhythm
       sway
fro from to
to lilts and return

Milky sweet
         re-memory’d
melodies take
Harmony
         there
                   and there
___________
Marvelous!

regards,
sudhir

brian madden
Member Elite

since 2000-05-06

Posts 4374
ireland

2 posted 2000-08-23 05:56 PM

Beautifully written piece.

"Beyond all this good is the terror,The grip of a mercenary hand,When savagery turns all good reason, There's no turning back, no last stand,"I.Curtis

Christopher

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-02

Posts 8296
Purgatorial Incarceration

3 posted 2000-08-24 12:53 PM

Wallllll now!

Do I misremember, or are you the one who used to tell me somesuch nonsense about an inability to pen free verse? Hmm... thought so... and I also recall that I said something along the lines of how well you wrote it.

I was right ag-ain!

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

4 posted 2000-08-24 01:00 AM

Satiate~
Oh, this is good !
The flowing of the thought is wonderful.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
[email protected]

Local Rebel
Member Ascendant

since 1999-12-21

Posts 5767
Southern Abstentia

5 posted 2000-08-24 10:05 AM

Oh Satiate... you've saturated this open masterpeice with rythm and blues....

very nice!

Hate is a dead thing. Who of you would be a tomb? -Kahlil Gibran

X Angel
Senior Member

since 1999-11-07

Posts 1521
Oregon

6 posted 2000-08-24 10:34 AM

Sweetheart...my take on this poem...it was a poem of ballet steps, emotionally so. As each dancer (or memory) moves with the other one. (in my mind I could see it so clearly)
Wowsers! I liked this lots, and uhmm
YOU CAN WRITE FREE VERSE YA DORK!!
*hugs*
~Heather

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