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Open Poetry #9
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Respite... revisited
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Respite... revisited |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Seeking respite from the night, No more to dance in pain's delight, She builds a fortress in her soul, So o'er the night, she has control, Within her walls, her heart does hide, Begone the pain, she has decried, So now she sings her sad laments, No way to breech her battlements. I sing to her love's madrigal, Her beauty does my heart enthrall, I come to her in still of night, As moth to flame, yearn love's delight, I touch upon her satin skin, Seeking out her heart within, You are my love, to her decree, I ask her hand, on bended knee. I build a fortress in my soul, So o'er the night, I have control. I sit behind my fortress wall, I heed not her siren's call, Banished to my solitude, Seeking not love's pulchritude, Within myself, I've sought withdrawal, I hear no more love's madrigal, Forevermore my heart seclude, Forevermore in solitude. I've felt the pain of love I've lost, Cannot again abide the cost, Seeking answers from myself, What price to pay to ask oneself? The risk of pain I won't accost, No more I feel hurt's icy frost, So I live within myself, Forgotten book on dusty shelf. I sit alone in still of night, Pondering upon my plight, I ask myself does love exist, Is there a life that I have missed? Darkness fades, its sorrow spent, In masquerade of love's repent, I sit in quiet numbed to pain, I wait for darkness once again. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike--You have penned a sad romantic tale ...and done it with your unequaled poetic ability...Bravo! |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
I don't know just what to say to this...other than its beauty, its message, has moved me profoundly. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Martie and Claire... I truly appreciate the comments... this is a poem I have been tinkering with for some time to get it right.. maybe I am getting closer... *smile* |
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Diane Yvonne Junior Member
since 2000-08-22
Posts 36Camdenton,Mo. USA |
Very Beautifully Done, but very Sad emotions being shown. Great Job!!!! Diane Yvonne |
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
mike this is simply marvelous...i mean your words they flow so nicely, the rhymes are tight and do not falter...your imagery is splendid...and the content is ever so sad...what would i do if i was denied that hand?...i will not think of that now..great job ,mike...beautiful indeed "my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- me |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ I would guess you've touched more than a few reader's emotions with this. The signature of a good poet. 'I've felt the pain of love I've lost, Cannot again abide the cost, Seeking answers from myself, What price to pay to ask oneself? The risk of pain I won't accost, No more I feel hurt's icy frost, So I live within myself, Forgotten book on dusty shelf.' Lots of pondering moments in your write. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
I know the feeling...it's still lives inside.. this poem touched me its beautiful...still every night you'll be on bended knee and every wish of yours would ask for her...This is a lovely,lovely, poem I loved the flow...it's sad but has a this beauty in it! If I should fall again, then they will laugh but what if just this one I rise? Avanti Rao |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Diane, thank you for your gracious comment. JnR4eva, I am glad you enjoyed my poem. Your reply was appreciated. Marge, for one who puts so much of herself into her poetry, you comments mean a great deal. Thank you. AVANTI. Yes, there can be beauty in sorrow, thank you for the reply. |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Mike~ this poem felt very familiar to me, oddly enough...as if other poems of yours had shadowed this poem before. I really liked this alot, it was beautiful and bespoke raw emotion so well. You've got a great mind to pen all these wonderful poems!  ~Heather |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
So very poignant, Mike and yes, beautiful. Corinne |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Oh Mike...this tears at my heart, because I know all too well that sadness within so many of your lines here. Dare I even try to pick the ones that touched me most? "So I live within myself, forgotten book on dusty shelf..." "Is there a life that I have missed?" "I wait for darkness once again." I could go on and on, but these really struck me as thoughts I can relate to...*sigh* There is so much emotion in this piece - and yes, I do believe you're close to "getting it right". I've not seen such perfection in awhile sir.  Wow.... |
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