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Open Poetry #9
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Cellblock B
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Cellblock B |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Stone cold walls in shadows cast, Night and day, as one impassed, "Lights out," sets flourescent sun, Muffled screams from down the run. Got no name 'cause I'm a con, Once had a life, but now it's gone, Nine...Four...Seven...Three...One...Eight... Grey steel bars, slams shut the gate. Imprisoned in a concrete cage, Amid a sea of convict rage, Time stands still within cold walls, Family's left, don't get no calls, Go to sleep each night to find, Muffled screams within my mind, Wake each morning, daily grind, Muffled screams within my mind. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mike - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JnR4eva Member
since 2000-08-07
Posts 377Bronx, NY |
What an interesting and rare, might I add, kind of poem you haven given us here in passions. I think that your main intention was to show your feelings of perhaps a real prison and its life, but of constraint is I how I perceive it, independent of the what kind of constraint. I always enjoy reading new poems that bring up new concepts and this one certainly fits the bill as you have poetically penned this piece...great going  "my love is my motivation my love is my inspiration perception of this poem is your interpretation" -- me |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
yep, this reminds me of my last relationship  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Mike--You see realities that I cannot imagine....thank you for your poetic vision and empathy. |
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linda munday Member
since 2000-06-17
Posts 315Adelaide, Australia |
"Lights out" sets fluorescent sun Muffled screams within my mind You don't have to be in jail to know this to be true. I don't want to sound gushing, but this poem is simply brilliant! Outstanding, worthy of being published somewhere and should be used in a campaign to scare offenders back to the straight and narrow... Linda M. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Does'nt sound like it's much fun in the BIG HOUSE...very well written...I can tell there is an element of truth here and as Linda says it's as good a deterrent as any could be. Write on!! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Mike...this is sp descriptive...it just sends chills |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is so different from you...and oh I did like the imagery...you are too good. (I wanna be like Mike...) smiles. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ Stark reality ! Well-penned ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
Very fine writing. Vividly portrayed. Thank you for sharing this.  ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a good apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Mike.... You've portrayed the harsh reality of prison life so well that I can almost hear that iron gate slam shut!! Great writing on a subject that isn't the norm!!! I like the change..... Today is a gift.... That is why they call it 'the Present'! |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
Thank you all for the comments, they are truly appreciated. Occasionally, I let my other life enter into my poetry. |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
...yes, and I can see where it can be quite beneficial to release some of your work observations, thoughts and stress into your poetry. This is an excellent piece, every worrd and image, sorrowful, edgy, and obviously carefully chosen. I admire your strong sense of diversity, my friend. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent writing, Mike. Vivid portrayal. Denise |
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John Yaws Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 860Texas |
Mike, Ity sounds like you, or someone close to you has done time. The poem paints a vivid and true-to-life picture of prison life. I know. thanks. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
*sigh..a little different (where's the rose?) but I liked it very much. As I've said before, you can't write a bad 'un!  |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
Oh, I couldn't possibly imagine life like this - you made it so realistic. My favs are... "Go to sleep each night to find, Muffled screams within my mind, Wake each morning, daily grind, Muffled screams within my mind." Wonderfully bringing this to life. Side Note: As my "day job" I run an online guitar string site. Now, I noticed the "numbers" attached to the name... but, to may way of thinking... if they let you have computers, internet access and american express cards... why can't you have guitars too? Well, I didn't pay much attention to the actual order until it came back "refused by recipient" which in this case was one of the correctional officers who apparently thought the inmates shouldn't have access to 12 packages of 9 gauge single strings. Oooops and oh well!! *S*< !signature--> -jaimie Website: www.ladysixstring.com [This message has been edited by ladysixstring (edited 08-21-2000).] |
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