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Open Poetry #9
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Within the Mist
| Open Poetry #9 |
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Within the Mist |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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Within The Mist On an evening just like this In softness of an ocean mist With gray of evening settling in I stood and watched the sea with him It was as though we were as one Our hearts and minds had just begun To meld together with the sea A lovely rapturous entity He is still there among the mist The place where we embraced and kissed For every night at evening time I feel his presence next to mine What madness makes a fantasy That still can overpower me That I cannot accept the truth He found another love in youth And still his spirit does exist Within the swirling ocean mist It makes me think that he must be At that same hour remembering me Perhaps it’s true, he comes to me In waves of haze from rolling sea In misty mind’s telepathy He strolls along the beach with me Within a wistful twisted mind That mystery tryst at evening time He still appears with me like this At graying dusk within the mist Elizabeth Santos |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Beautiful writing, Liz. Isn't it astonishing how memory/fantasy/reverie can at times seem so real in our "mists"? Wonderful work, my friend. ~ Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Liz; I love the mystical romanticism of this haunting poem. We never forget that first love. Ellie Summers haunting melody that awakens the butterflies, calling them to join the dance in their silent song of praise to God. eL |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Liz Whenever I write something that I want to be really really well written, I work hard at it. I polish the lines, fight a form of tone-deafness that plagues me with every line I write, suffer through rewrites, and, after all that anguish, I post the poem, only to see its weaknesses blare forth. You, on the other hand, produce poetry that makes me shake my head in wonder, and in frustration. This poem is a perfect example of that. I didn't notice myself reading your lines, because I was in the mist, there with you, and I felt your remorse and heart. You write so well. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"Perhaps it’s true, he comes to me In waves of haze from rolling sea In misty mind’s telepathy He strolls along the beach with me" What a mystical remembrance penned with romanticism and longing ... just beautiful Liz!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Elizabeth, Where ever the mist does insist He really truly does exist. A wonderful lovely poem. Love Sy |
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Bill Charles Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619highways, & byways, for now |
Oh Elizabeth, I could feel myself right at the ocean when I read this tale of sadness. This is just great, so telling, and so wanting. |
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ladysixstring Member
since 2000-07-27
Posts 374 |
You set the perfect setting for this tragic story. Very well written... very well said!!! -jaimie www.ladysixstring.com |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Simply beautiful. |
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Sudhir Iyer Member Ascendant
since 2000-04-26
Posts 6943Mumbai, India : now in Belgium |
Liz, this is Elizabeth Santos and this is poetry... regards, sudhir P.s. WOW I used metaphors...  |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Hello....my name is Mark, and I am a Liz poetry addict. Your words and the ease of which you place them down is simply amazing. You have penned another sad "Masterpiece" and I remain in awe. |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Claire, Your compliments always make me smile Thank you Ellie,Who can forget that first love? They stay with us forever - if only in the mist THanks, dear LngJhn, I don't even know what to say. You shower me with such lavish praise. But in reality we are our own wordt critics, and as many know, I don't feel confident in my poetry. I just write what I feel each morning. And incidentally, I've seen some pretty exquisite poetry from your pen, my friend. Thank you so much for your generous response Kit, I think this one sounds like you So glad you liked it Sy, He exists only in my imagination. Thank you for your sweet reply Bill, Thank you, my romantic friend ladysixstring, I like your name. Thank you so much for your comments Alicat, I appreciate your reading and responding Thanks Sudhir, You who are a poet's poet, raise my spirit to new heights Mark, You make me laugh and you make me weep at the same time. Your comments are always so touching Thank you Liz |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
With baited breath I await your next poem you will share with us. I also ditto what Mark has said... ...you have me too as an admirer of your talent in verseNrhyme Lovely Lovely Poem Coco |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Liz--You really know how to write the poignancy into romance...beautifully done, my friend! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Coco, Thank you. You are so sweet and I am just getting ready to post a poem. I hope you like it. Martie, Any positive remark you make about my poetry is like the master saying, well done, my son. For you are a mentor to me and I suppose to many others. Thank you, dear Liz |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
like a mystic song sung of morn like dew on new rose petals born like rainbows rising out of summers mist reading Liz's poetry is like being sweetly kissed. ************* love this beautiful poem Liz, absolutely enchanting... take care gifted poet jm |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
What a sweet verse. Thank you for your comments.You make me smile Liz |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Elizabeth~ You KNOW this little ole' romantic loves it ! Has all the right elements .... 'What madness makes a fantasy That still can overpower me' *Sighs* Loving you~ ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Oh Liz this is breath takingly beautiful. I was in that mist with you. Totally swept away. Juls |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
** continuing to admire with awe ** |
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Knight Dreams Junior Member
since 2000-08-16
Posts 46Austin, Texas |
Emotional journey you took me on...Superb peice of writing. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
You DO take us all with you on your flights of fancy, Elizabeth...  |
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Dr.Moose1 Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448Bewilderment , USA |
Liz, So vivid I can hear the waves ... Doc |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Absolutely beautiful, Elizabeth. Perfection. Denise |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Marge, Thanks dear, you always like the romantic ones Juls, Your comments are very kind Balladeer, Your remarks humble me Knights dream, Very kind remarks. Thanks Sunshine - "flights of fancy. That's my perpetual state Thank you, dear Doc, Thank you for your comment Denise, Thank you dear, your always there with me, sunshine or mist Liz |
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