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Open Poetry #9
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They wouldn't let me hold you
| Open Poetry #9 |
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They wouldn't let me hold you |
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Nikolette Sadness
since 2000-07-29
Posts 337port richey fl. |
this is a very hard thing for me to talk about...this is for the son i never got to hold...they took him away from me without seeing his face... ~They wouldn't let me hold you~ i never saw your face or felt your soft touch i felt like a disgrace but i loved you so much they took you away before i could see the only pure thing that lived inside of me i never saw your face or felt your soft skin but i know i'll always love you because i loved you from within nine months of agony not forgotten by me i wanted to hold you and i would've told you the things you need to hear as i speak through tears the truth becomes clear unwed mother long gone lover my son, the only one i will find you someday and love you more than now because i'll love you always more than you can know. Nikolette Sadness i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Nicole Crisp - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Nik, you did a lot of things right here...first of all, know that your child is in a good, safe, loving home, with two parents who wanted him very, very much... and know that from this experience, tho quite difficult and heart-wrenching, there comes a type of growth that you can only learn from... I am sure you don't care to hear that, but believe me, little one, you have a lot to give others, and sharing moments such as this is one way of reaching out and telling folks "I'm ready to grow up now..." Many hugs, Sunshine |
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Elizabeth
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 1999-06-07
Posts 6871Minnesota |
Nik, I'm so sorry to hear about this. I don't know what it's like to carry a child within you for nine months and then have him literally snatched away--I've never even been pregnant yet--but it must have been traumatic for you. You will carry him in your heart until the day you do get to hold him. Take care. Elizabeth Why ME??? |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
aaahhhhhh baby...my heart breaks for you...and I know you will find him someday and he will know what you did you did for love |
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Nikolette Sadness
since 2000-07-29
Posts 337port richey fl. |
elizabeth...thank you for the reply..i hope someday i can hold my son...and see his beautiful face...because i know without knowinghim that i love him Paula...thank you very much...this was very hard for me to share wuth the wrold (as you know) and you helped me do just that...*hugs* Nikolette i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Nik, your sincerity and emotion in this poem is very powerful. Obviously you are a very caring and sincere person to be able to write this. Save it for your son and, when you do finally re-unite with him, show it to him. I hope it works out and thank you for sharing this with us. |
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Auguste
since 2000-02-16
Posts 3953By the sea |
Nikolette, I was deeply touched by this. Your love and longing is so evident. Bless you. Michael |
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Nikolette Sadness
since 2000-07-29
Posts 337port richey fl. |
thank you both veyr much for replying here...i hope someday i will see my son...and he will know that ive always loved him... Nik i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness. |
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Jesse Jaymz Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708Youngstown, ohio |
this was great work hun. truly touching. i hope that you do find him. for you are the most loving person i know and i know that he loves and misses you too. *hugs* i am here for you hun. love ya jesse Once upon a time there was a light in my life, now theres only love in the dark, There's nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart. |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Nikolette, I was so moved by your feeling and sincerity in this. I use to be a social worker and I've witnessed these feelings first hand. Although I was never involved in the compacity of removing a child from their parent for the purpose of adoption, I do understand your pain. Hey, here is a suggestion. Check with your state adoptions office or private agency you used. They should have some forms for you to sign just in case your son searches for you when he becomes old enough to do so. If I'm not mistaken, these forms you sign will allow for the adoption agency to contact you at the address given on them. Keep them your address and telephone number updated. Once they contact you, you will be will be told that your son has made contact with the agency and wants to meet with you. That decision will be yours at that time. I would tell you the name of the forms, but I have forgotten, plus I don't know if the state you reside in has the same laws and procedures as my state. Good Luck & God Bless. Garfield |
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Nikolette Sadness
since 2000-07-29
Posts 337port richey fl. |
jesse...thank you hun...i'm glad it touched you...*bugs hugs and kisses* ggrn3...thank you for the help i will look into that... Nik i was once in love and happy...but you can call me Sadness. |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Very powerful and emotive, my heart cries out for you! It is my hope that things will work out for you. God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Unknown |
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