If And When (Mark's Challenge #1)

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Open Poetry #9

If And When (Mark's Challenge #1)

SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

0 posted 2000-08-15 02:36 PM

If And When (Mark's Challenge #1)

You've whispered soft and
pleasing lies and
danced upon my soul.
Reached for all that
never was and
anguish took it's toll.
Mounds of effort
in empty space
decorate the air.
Sweet nothings of
what could have been
seep acidic tears.
If and when
have come and gone
and gone is here to taunt.
Simply sound and
peaceful times is all
this lost girl wants.

Butterflies_dont_cry
Member Elite

since 2000-03-06

Posts 3733
Michigan

1 posted 2000-08-15 02:43 PM

Wow SF...this is powerful!! The last stanza...you hit it!!! Challenge more than met...you breezed past it!!!

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

2 posted 2000-08-15 02:47 PM

WOOOOOOWWWW.......when you accept a challenge you really give it your all...Powerful indeed and with that you get the gold medal in strength(of character). Now step up to the podium and rejoice in your anthem...but don't relax...there are three competitions left.

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant

since 2000-06-17

Posts 5546
missouri

3 posted 2000-08-15 02:48 PM

soft sweet and so sad...another challenge met

Lakewalker
Member Elite

since 2000-08-05

Posts 3289
On the streets w/ people

4 posted 2000-08-15 02:52 PM

Very nicely done

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

5 posted 2000-08-16 05:54 AM

Excellent work, here spitfire... excellent...

regards,
sudhir

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

6 posted 2000-08-16 06:45 AM

Whooee Fire,
When you write a poem you give it everything. Congratulations.
Be well
Kethry

"It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures;
but it is the loss that shapes the image,
gathers the flowers weaves the garland."-

MMoonchild
Senior Member

since 2000-07-13

Posts 1715
PA

7 posted 2000-08-16 06:48 AM

awwwww...lost girl...I loved this
~~soft hugs
M

Knight Dreams
Junior Member

since 2000-08-16

Posts 46
Austin, Texas

8 posted 2000-08-16 07:01 AM

Mastered verses here. I like this

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