Victims of an inner demon - pipTalk Forums

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trevorskogsbergh
Member

since 2000-02-03

Posts 129
South Pasadena, CA

0 posted 2000-02-24 09:39 PM

This poem was written by my friend Sal Resendez. I apologize if it is to vivid. If so, feel free to take it off.

Depressions are my routine every single day,
I try to let them get to me, but they don't go away.
Why must this infection control how I live my life?
The vivid thoughts of my wrists being slashed with a knife.
Blood flowing down. The infection will release
The only cure I can think of…Myself deceased.
Will I grow out of this? I wish I can say,
Thinking should I bite a bullet to make it all go away.
Thoughts of my family crying in sorrow,
Wishing they could see my face when they wake up tomorrow.
Who knows what the future has in store for me,
I could die today, in a year, or possibly three.
The depressions that I face last 23 and a half-hours a day,
My life is now gone, in a casket I lay.
Family still in mourning. It is now tomorrow.
Now as a lost soul, I feel an infinite sorrow.
Why did I do this to the one's I hold so dear?
Wishing I could grasp to one of them, and hold on for a thousand years.
If only I hadn't have listened to the whispers in my ears.
The sorrowful thoughts, and my greatest fears.
Demons telling me to Diminish my soul.
I wish I wouldn't have listened, but I lost control.
So those of you that are struggling with these devils,
Stomp them down, and bring them to your level.
Then begin to take control of your life,
Death is not the ticket so put away the knife.
Learn a lesson from someone, who has experienced it all,
And don't make a big deal out of something so small.

If you want to walk with God, you've got to go His way!

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

1 posted 2000-02-26 04:10 PM

What in the world do people go thru to become this depressed. I remember when my first wife took my three sons and left me just before christmas and I didn/t know where they were for about two weeks and I remember crying and crying and I couldn't sleep at night continually dwelling in my hurt and pain and sorrow. And I would pray to God that I would not wake up in the morning and once again feels this continual pain again. And yet I did not want to kill myself, I wanted God to kill me, to take me in his arms and love me. I just don't understand why you would let depression drive you to even think about killing yourself. My hope and my trust in God that someday better days would come sustained me. James

Mistikman
Senior Member

since 2000-01-10

Posts 682
San Jose, CA, USA

2 posted 2000-02-26 05:17 PM

jmlee12345- Depression isnt something that you "let" do anything to you. Depressions is next to impossible to adequately explain, and unless you have gone through it, you cant really understand it. Depression is very irrational. People who are depressed dont really care to see bluer skies ahead. They are too preoccupied with the pain of here and now. Life for them seems like nothing more than one defeat after another. Well, thats how it was for me at least.

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member

since 1999-08-26

Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho

3 posted 2000-02-26 05:29 PM

It's true, depression is very like an inner demon, and certainly nothing anyone would ever "choose" to drown in, any more than anyone would choose to drown in water. A very real agony, like any physical one, but not so easily healed as most physical ones. I've been there. And the reasons never look small at the time. They look terrifyingly overwhelming.
I do want to point out, though, that even when someone sees no light at present, in the tunnel; there may be a great light ahead. It was so for me. And I'm so very grateful that I stayed in this world, and that such joy was given me after the darkness.

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