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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #6 |
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Remember These Words |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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A one way street this friendship has become The circle has been broken, so it seems Your words were once to me as smoothest rum That warmed my soul and filled my heart with dreams. You coldly turned away and left a chill The frigid air then formed an icy glaze Yet through the storm I waited for you still For one small word could set my world ablaze. The anguish caused by you will one day end And in its place will be a precious gem A priceless treasure, wisdom’s dividend Naivete will have its requiem. Remember these my words 'midst bitter tears When loneliness consumes your latter years. < !signature--> Denise And slight is the sting of his trouble Whose winnings are less than his worth; For he who is honest is noble, Whatever his fortunes or birth.~~~Alice Cary, ~Nobility~ [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 02-18-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Wow...this is a very powerful piece Denise...I can only say I am glad I am not on the recieving end of this one. Well written my friend  |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Denise this is sad! Some fall by the wayside, but they weren't true to start with. Though it always hurts! Well done my friend! HUGS and more HUGS <*\\\>< There's only two ways you can go... One way you can save your riches, And the other will save your soul. Rich Mullins |
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Lost Dreamer Member Elite
since 1999-06-20
Posts 2464Somewhere near the Rainbow |
You expressed your emotions with such passion in this poem, glad I'm not the person either that this relates to, but if I was, I would hope I had the sense to knock on your door long before it came to this. Denise, This is excellent, Keep them rolling don't stop now, I see a sapling growing into a tree. |
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U K Hero Member
since 1999-08-08
Posts 266England |
I loved the flow and feeling very much |
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Danny Holloway Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034Tulsa, OK |
"Naivete will have it's requiem" That's what I call originality! Denise, enjoy all your work and your kind words about mine. Danny |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
This is sad but full of such positive personal power--I just want to say--you go girl!! |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Beautifully expressed, my sonnet queen. You write so well, especially when you're in a huff. You showed him! Love ya Liz |
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devina Member Elite
since 1999-10-28
Posts 3539Cali |
Don't ever let anyone take advantage of you sweetheart...you're too good for that!!!! Your last two lines make the poem m'friend!!! Open arms can be the most fragile in the world... |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Wow! Thank you all for your wonderful responses! I always aprreciate your reading and commenting!  Liz - maybe I should get in a huff more often...it seems to do wonders for my writer's block...hehehehe  Thanks again everybody!! |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I changed this a little. I think it is better now! |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Wow, wonderful, powerful poem and the timing is perfect, my friend is doing the same to me and I have no idea why...It isn't easy, probably one of the hardest things I've gone through...but she doesn't seem to care, sad to see it's not only me. I hope all works out for you soon. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Yep - Don't be messin' with this lady's heart... Them's fightin' words in her sonnets.. Nice one, Denise - It speaks volumes..  |
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Eloise Senior Member
since 1999-11-27
Posts 1096Wyoming |
Denise, this is so powerful and beautifully written. You say so much with such few words. Excellent, my friend. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you BSC,Nan and Eloise for your kind responses. I'm glad you liked it! BSC- I suppose this is just one of those heartbreaking things in life that we have to accept. Perhaps they were never really friends to begin with, as WhtDove said above, but as in everything that comes our way in life we have to look for the silver lining and take whatever lessons we have learned and go on, much wiser for the experience. I'm sorry for your present pain, too. HUGS |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Inspired and poetic. If this piece is a result of anger, I must commend your healing craft. |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi there sweetie, It's Cerenity-1 (AKA: Cerenity) WOW,WOW again I have been hidding from a friend because she was very mean to me, but know that I read this I think I'm going to call her and set up some thing because I would never want any one to ever feel that way about me even if she treated me the way she did. Thank you so much, Cerenity-1 |
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Cypher Junior Member
since 2000-02-19
Posts 17 |
Denise, I loved the line: Naivete will have its requiem Wonderful job. -Cypher- |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Great writing, Denise! Who could turn their back on someone like you?  |
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Julie Senior Member
since 1999-08-20
Posts 739Houston, TX |
Wow Denise you said a lot here. Very well done. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Claire, Cerenity, Cypher, Balladeer and Julie, Thank you for reading and for your lovely comments! Denise |
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jbowie Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 135BANGOR (that OR) ME |
I found that as I read this, I became sad for you and this person. For you to have been treated as such, and for the person not knowing what type of heart they were betraying. Good bit. And thanks for your kind words on my postings. James |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Denise~ How or why anyone would want to absent themselves from your friendship is lost on me. Great feelings in this one, hon. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
I love this because (how's this for a strange parallel?) like the music of nine inch nails, you manage to show the extreme beauty and power of words, even when working up into a rage. Great work, and a reminder there's always something worthwhile to go on to. Mike |
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jascanvey Member
since 1999-12-26
Posts 130England |
This is a great poem, Denise, let's hope they see sense and get in touch! (((HUGS))) All of my life I've been searching for the words to say how I feel........ - Phil Collins. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you all for your kind replies..sorry it took me so long to thank you.....on-going computer problems......should be fixed in a day or two! I appreciate your reading and commenting! Denise |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Denise... this is SUPERB!!!! Excellent!! I dont know how I missed it the other day...the poems just fly off the page over here...but either way, Im so glad I got to see it...its full of lovely imagery and hearfelt emotions...well expressed!! and as always...thank you for all you kind and encouraging words of my work in the other forums.  take care, janet marie I love you Is all that you can't say- Years gone by and still... Words don't come easily Like I love you, I love you... But you can say baby... Baby can I hold you tonight Maybe if I told you the right words At the right time you'd be mine... Tracy Chapman |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Janet Marie! I'm so glad that you liked it so much! Denise |
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