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Open Poetry #6
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Final Sleep
| Open Poetry #6 |
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Final Sleep |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
I wrote this as a project for my English class, my teacher wanted me to write a villanelle, so heres my best shot at it  Now I lay down for final sleep Upon this bed I shall forever lie Do not bow your head and weep Tired of playing part of blackest sheep I have no more need to lay and cry Now I lay down for final sleep I dug myself into a pit too deep I could not look out to see the sky Do not bow your head and weep This is my fate for a life too cheap I could not spread my wings and fly Now I lay down for final sleep No one knows the thoughts I keep Thoughts that end this very nigh Do not bow your head and weep I sowed the seeds that I now reap Time has arrived for me to die Now I lay down for final sleep Do not bow your head and weep [This message has been edited by Mistikman (edited 04-13-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Travis Welton - All Rights Reserved | |||
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
its always so sad mistik yuh yet you do well with the dark pieces you write All Day I Dream About Stanzas!! |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
So dark yet so beautiful Jeffrey |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Thanks to both of you for reading my poem, this one was in extreme danger of fading away with 0 replies  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Boy! These are so hard to write! I've tried it and it hurt!!! I think the theme is good for a Villanelle...(sounds like a villain to me)....Let us know what grade you got on it.. aren't you glad you post here and we can help with your homework..now about that math...........  |
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netswan Senior Member
since 2000-03-28
Posts 1369Washington |
Poetry from the heart, there kiddo. Be interesting how your poem does with your teacher. Keep us posted. It is amazing how some teachers will let you write your heart out, while others will stifle the creativity of your soul. Death makes great poetry - the dark side of life, yet inevitable. Keep up your writing! Teresa King www.tipsfortop.com |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Very sad yet well written! Denise |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
Poet deVine- Bah, I need not help in Math, that is the area in which I excell the most I love calculus netswan- That is where I am lucky, I have the coolest English teacher in the world He loves when I write whats really in my heart, and has been the main supporter of my poetry, in real life of course.dsnyder- Thank you |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Well if I was your teacher, I'd give ya an A don't ya know! Please keep us posted and let us know what you do get on it. Far better than anything I could have attempted |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mystik~ This is truly well done. I'm so pleased for you that your English teacher appreciates your poetry. My goodness, does that thought bring back memories of a ninth grade English teacher, Mr. Joseph Pearce who was the first teacher who ever told me that I had a talent for writing. I've never forgotten him ... and was pleased to be able to present him with my first web-published poem before he passed away. Thank you for bringing his memory to the surface of my heart. I'm sure you will remember your teacher with the same fondness that I do. Wonderful writing, talented young man ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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poetFemmeFatale Member Elite
since 1999-07-25
Posts 2646Arkansas |
Such a dark side of you, but very good nonetheless! I have written a poem or two about a sleep which I don't ever awake from. I think we all feel like that at one time or another...we just need time to stop, so we can dust ourselves off, and rest a bit. Great job you did with this! |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
WhtDove- Oh, the chances of me not getting an A are slim to none I bet you could easily do better if you tried, you have years of practice and experience on me Marge Tindal- I had a similar experience with my english teacher, and I doubt I will be able to forget him for a very long time poetFemmeFatale- Thanks My dark side is much much stronger than my light side when it comes to poetry, I just cant write good happy poetry |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
That's a tough one to do...but you pulled it off well |
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Friday New Member
since 2000-04-14
Posts 8Vaasa, Finland |
I do hope you got an A. This is poetry at it's best... dark, intense... Frida The moon shines bright/in such a night as this/when the sweet wind/did gently kiss the trees/and they made no noise/in such a night Shakespeare... I think. I simply love these lines. |
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Mistikman Senior Member
since 2000-01-10
Posts 682San Jose, CA, USA |
hoot_owl_rn- Why thank you It wasnt quite as hard as I thought it would be, it just kinda flowed outta me like this.Friday- Oh, I doubt that I would get anything less with this poem Hes grading me along with the rest of the class, most of which dont even care about poetry. |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
So sad, but so good... as always. "We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars." -Oscar Wilde |
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